How do men find mates? Online dating, bars, blind dates? I have been single now for more than a year. Now, when I say single I do not mean I hook up here and there but have not found a steady girlfriend, I mean I have not been on a date nor had any sexual contact for over a year. It has dawned on me that I am simultaneously longing for companionship and dreading the stereotypical expectations of that relationship. And, at this point, I have to admit to myself the awful truth that I'm not really interested in flings.
So, in a culture full of extreme feminism, political correctness, polarizing religious and politic perspectives, stds, single mothers, and a slew of other potential landmines, how does a modern, semi intelligent man find a good women? This is my quandary. With my mind and body working against me to seek out insane beauty above impressive character and my friends going through break up after heart wrenching breakup where do I go for advice?
I belive that before the internet people looked to those around them to emulate the successful maters. Parents generally stayed together for better or worse so many boys emulated their fathers. If their dad could do it why can't they? But as part of a generation of children of divorced parents and witnessing the abuse and turmoil of those relationships I can not trust my father for advise or consult. Ok. So what about my peers?
My peers are some of the most directionless, confused, immoral, and unrelentingly confident people I have ever witnessed. They drink too much, take pills too much, are depressed and anxious. They are impulsive and aloof all while crying out against the government and religion they tacitly support. And they go from relationship to relationship with little regard for the long term consequences. Having babies with the same disregard and impatience as neanderthals. I do not trust he majority of my peers.
What about the grandparents? My grandparents had nothing to do with me and are responsible for the rebellion and confusion of my parents. They lived in a bygone era where abuse, war and oppression where unchecked and approved of. I do not trust these dead or near dead people either.
I go online to read dating profiles and despair at my own judgemental disapproval and sinicism. I don't trust myself or the females I long for. I create rules and deal breakers that essentially no woman could live up to. I am stifled by self imposed idealism. But still I fear the whimsical alternative. The aloof, sexually and emotionally open lifestyles I see in so many others.
In reality I fear success. I fear my own ability to dismiss my standards for sexual pleasure and emotional gratification. I take it all so seriously and do not accept that there is some sort of "game" going on. My dick, my heart and my life are not games to be manipulated by society or women. But what control can I have once I subject myself to the vulnerability or intimacy?
