Wednesday, July 27, 2016

Adventures of Joe Gray: Dark Woods

I trekked up the hill of a steep wooded slope. Thick ferns and blackberry vines covered the forest floor making any climb slow and painstaking. Though the sun shone bright in the sky the wood was as dark as the evening promised to be. It was only about half a mile up the side of the ravine and God only knows what was waiting at the top. Whatever it was I was determined to find out.

Birds swooped over head as I continued my winding way. The trees began to thin and the brambles receeded as I got closer to the tree line and the hill flattened. I could see a barn straight ahead and a house to the right. As I scanned farther to my right there was a bench and at the bench sat the gnarliest old man. His beard was long, white and dirty. His skin dark and leathery. His yellow rotted teeth gnashing together slobbering chew spit down his cheek. With one hand around the neck of a chicken his other hand slammed a cleaver down with a thud sending the chicken's head rolling off the bench.

He looked up and our eyes locked. I paused, frozen with fright. He stood up to reach for a shotgun by his side and as he began to rack the pump he yelped,"You get outta here!"

I spun and ran back where I came from as fast as I could. I rushed down the incline staring at my feet. Over stumps, ruts, roots and ferns I sprinted. With gravity and adrenaline pulling me forward and down I flew. I heard one loud bang of a firearm at my back compelling me to run faster through the treacherous undergrowth. Dodging limbs and spikes I flung myself down the muddy slope and then all of a sudden I was ass to the ground with my feet in stream. At the bottom of the ravine was a small creek and it meant I was back on my parent's property.

I took a deep breath and looked back at where I had come. No sign I was ever there, the dark woods unexcited by the prior events and oblivious of my flight from death. It was only a short distance up the other side to the house where I would do my homework and then watch TV. Maybe Josh would let me play the Nintendo with him.

Wednesday, July 13, 2016

Adventurers of Joe Gray: Junior High Spy

First period had started and I had to get to work. I pulled my notebook out of my bag and turned it sideways. I sat in the back so no one could see the hidden laptop disguised as a standard college rule notebook. I flipped the screen on and saw a large Pegasus indicating a new email. It seemed that a certain known assassin was posing as a fellow student and it was my job to find and eliminate them.

The email had a grainy photo of a girl of about 12. She had blonde hair and glasses but the most important thing was a small tattoo of a black swan on her wrist. 


"Joe!" I heard from the front of the room as a pencil went flying by my ear.
I closed the laptop lid quickly and looked up to find my teacher and everyone else staring at me. 

"What is the answer?" The teacher said. 


"Um, 13." I said after glancing at the board for a split second. 


"Lucky guess," Mr. Merdon said, disappointed he couldn't embarrass me more.

The bell rang and we all filed out of the class. Unbeknownst to the rest of the students there was a cold blooded killer in our midst and if I could help it they wouldn't find out. I began to scan the passing students intently looking at hair and wrists. A few blonds but no tattoos. A tattoo would stand out in this place but it could be covered easily.

I made my way through the halls not speaking to anyone. The next class was science lab,one of my favorites. We all filed into the room and I took my seat at the back but my usual partner wasn't there. John was always early. I watched for him to come in but the bell rang and no John. The teacher stood up as another student came rushing in.

"Hello. I'm sorry I'm late. My parents suck." A young blond girl said as she scrambled in.

My heart stopped when I noticed the resemblance to the girl in he photo. Shit! This could be her.

"What's your name?" Ms. Stevenson asked.

"My name is Meg," She responded sheepishly.

"Go ahead and sit by Joe there in the back. Get her caught up, will you Joe?" The science teacher said as my throat dried up and heart began to race.

She walked over and sat next to me at the table. I looked over at her as she nervously pulled things out of her pack. I tried to find her wrists but they were covered by a long sleeve shirt. Damnit.

"Hello," Meg said as she looked at me.

My heart sank again. She was so beautiful. I stumbled over saying hi or something as I struggled to focus. Keep it together I told myself. She's probably the assassin.

Ms. Stevenson proceeded to explain the days lab work. We were to dissect a squid and then we would cook them up for some reason and eat them. Fucking great class.

I walked over to the table where all the samples were and brought one back to the table.

"Cool," she said when she saw the purple glob of gunk on the dish.

"Oh yeah? Have you ever dissected anything before? I asked.

"Oh yeah, all the time." She said with a grin. Then she laughed and said, "no, but this is great. Have you?"

"A frog once," I said lying. I had dissected plenty of animals in the spy training program. Learning about vital areas and the effects of poisons. "You first then." I said.

I stared as she started to roll up her sleeves. Her right wrist was clean but as she rolled up the left I saw something dark on the underside. I couldn't see it very well so I stood up.

"I need to use the bathroom," I said loudly to the teacher.

"Ok, take a pass." Ms. Stevenson said.

I slowly walked to the other side of the table trying not to be too obvious. As I looked down I saw both wrists plain as day. I was relieved when I saw that on the bottom side of her left wrist I saw a small black birthmark with no particular definition.  It wasn't her.

As I stood at the urinal I heard the door open and close behind me. I looked but saw no one there. Then, all of a sudden, I felt the sting of my head hitting the metal of the urinal in front of me. I fell to my knees as someone else's knee rammed into my side. Then I tried to get up but a swift kick to my back flung me into the wall. I heard the door creak open and someone began to walk in. I turned as my attacker rushed passed the incoming boy and darted out. I got up as fast as I could and ran to the door. As I peered down the desolate hall I caught a glimpse of blonde hair running away and around a corner.

My imaginings were swiftly halted as a boy slammed into me walking out of the bathroom.

"Get the fuck out of my way, loser." The bruiser said as I felt my shoulder bruising.

'Junior high sucks', I thought as I walked back to class. Back at my table I sat down to dissect the squid alone.