Adventures of Joe Gray: Sniper on the Hill

Looking through my scope I could see about 2 dozen army men lined up at the bottom of a rugged slope with their backs toward a large precipice. They were just standing there waiting for something giving me a perfect opportunity to take them out. I had been tracking them for 2 days across the hilly landscapes waiting for this moment. How dare they come to my homeland taking what they will and killing all those in their way? 

I checked my magazines, each fully loaded with 10 rounds, which should be enough if aim is true. Perched on the limb of a small tree I peered through the scope at my first target. It was a grenadier with mortars ready to go. I aimed for the bulk of the body and breathed in. As I let go of my breath the cross hairs steadied for an instant and I squeezed the trigger smoothly. With a burst I saw the man fly back never to mortar again. 

The others looked frantically about trying to identify the shooter as I aimed at the next one in line. With a shallow exhale I squeezed off another shot down range taking out an infantry man. Then another and another. Now they knew which direction the shots were coming from and started shooting haphazardly in my direction. As my breath quickened and my heart raced I took out men with rifles, bazookas, radios and mortars. 

The trigger clicked empty as the incoming shots got closer and closer. I dropped to my stomach and loaded a new magazine. I steadied the rifle and lined up to continue my volley of destructive justice. Lined up like a shooting gallery they went down one by one as shots flew above and below my position. As the second magazine emptied only a few remained and only one of them was still fighting back. The others had resigned themselves to their fate and staggered around aimlessly. 

I ejected the empty magazine and loaded the last one as I moved to a kneeling position. Propping my arm on my knee I steadied for my last shots. Now just shooting rapid fire at the remaining infantry men bullets whizzed and pinged off the ground but still they went down. With a deep breath I stood up to see the destruction and marvel at my doing. Victory was mine!

I walked over to the downed army men and began to set them back up in interesting places on the dirt. Some behind rocks and some atop stumps. A few had been flung far enough that I couldn't find them, truly lost in the battle. I was getting better with the 22 semi-auto my dad had gotten me and I loved practicing with the new scope. Bullets were cheap and I would test myself at longer range this time. The plastic men wouldn't know what hit them. 

Adventurers of Joe Gray: The Heist

"Get in!" Caleb growled at me as I ran along side the safari van we had jacked the day before. The sirens were getting louder. We had the money but someone had tipped them off. I jumped in the side door as Caleb sped up.

I grabbed the uzi waiting for me on the passenger seat just in time for the first cop car to pull into view. I peered out the window and began firing at the oncoming patrol car.

"What the fuck went wrong?" Caleb yelled in my direction, barely audible over the gun shots.

"I don't know. Someone snitched." I responded while reloading.

Then, all of a sudden one of the cars zoomed up beside us and fired, breaking the side mirror and forcing Caleb to swerve. With rage I blasted 30 rounds at the driver hitting him multiple times in the face and chest. The cop slumped over and drove straight into a parked car.

"Oh shit!" I said as I turned to look at Caleb looking back with a devious smile.

The next car was coming up quick but I had a surprise for them. A bazooka was sitting in the back of the van just for this situation.

"I'm gunna shoot out the back window and hit them with the bazooka."

"Do it!" Caleb said gleefully.

The glass blew out instantly from my 45 and then I grabbed the bazooka. I pulled the heavy piece of metal destruction to my shoulder and aimed carefully at the oncoming officers. Just as I could see an expression of sheer amazement and fear from the cops faces I pulled the trigger.

Phewww!!! Pow!

The cop car blew up 10 feet in a cloud of fire and smoke.

"Woo hoo!" I exclaimed. "Let's get the fuck outta here."

"Fuck yeah! Let's get some chicks!" Caleb said with delight.

"Fuck yeah!"

We drove off hoping that was the last of them. We always picked up some chicks and partied after a job.

Caleb and I jumped out of my mom's red safari van and headed toward the back yard where the sun was going down. We would chat about life until it was time to go in. I always enjoyed having Caleb over.

Adventures of Joe Gray: Ninjas in the Backyard

Ninjas were all around me. From all sides they crept over the horse fence and through the trees wearing all black and looking to kill. I had only my trusty hockey stick, long past its hockey days, as my weapon of choice. Its curved end acting like an outstretched cleaver ready to dismantle any would-be assassin.

I took a readied stance as they surrounded me. At once they clambered in at me. I swiped down with a mighty blow taking out the first at the shoulder. Then I moved seamlessly between foes striking with unpredictable fluidity and accuracy. To the left I struck one in the side, nearly cleaving him in half. Then, in an instant, I swung behind striking sideways at another. Feeling overwhelmed I swung my stick in a 360 arc around my body taking out evil assassin after evil assassin in a wave of fury and poise.

They backed off for a second allowing me to catch my breath. But then they came at me again. This time I moved around the field forcing them to follow instead of lead. As I slayed one ahead of me with a head splitting swish I rolled and turned to strike the one approaching from behind, catching him off guard from a low position. I looked up and saw that they had stopped the advance. They were backing away. Standing in premature triumph I heard the thud of an unseen giant's steps.

Through the trees I saw its face. Covered in an ornate ancient samurai helm it grinned unrelentingly at me. 10 feet tall and with a sword 6 feet long it began to run. The monster bore down on me like a bull but I stood my ground. As it approached the red and blue of its armor shown brighter and brighter until soon it was right on me. At the last second I rolled between its legs and turned striking down on its back with the sharp end of my stick. It sunk deep in its back. The giant stood for a moment and then collapsed with a roar and a gasp. I turned around to see the backs of my enemies scattering back into the trees, doubtfully for the last time.

Dinner would be soon and it was beginning to get cold. I roamed around the edge of the tree line smacking my stick into anything that might break. Foxglove was always easy to take out but small branches were fun too. I spun my hockey stick around a bit. I looked at the business end seeing that it was becoming damaged more and more but no matter as I wasn't going to be playing hockey out here in the middle of nowhere anyway. I wondered if mom and dad were going to fight again that night.