Joe's Notes: April 2018

Saturday, April 21, 2018

Photo Journal 4/21/2018

Columbia River, Oregon

No Editing, Canon 70-200mm

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Sunday, April 15, 2018

Forgotten Tweets: They Never Had A Chance

This is a collection of tweets that I decided not to post. Until now.

Twitter @JoeGrins

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Tuesday, April 10, 2018

After a few more tries George made it past the bevy of undead villagers and more white wolves. He had taken a wrong right turn once where he was immediately murdered by a twenty-foot long lizard that pulverized him with its jagged blue crystals. He decided that that one would have to wait. After the lizard, the world had opened up for him revealing an expanse of snowy mountains and castles off in the distance. It was a beautiful site but not as beautiful as the softly smoldering bonfire at the top of the hill and when he touched the hilt of a rusted sword sticking into bonfire he was filled with tranquility and peace. He was renewed and the fire was renewed for with his touch, it blazed hotter and brighter as if it had been waiting for him a very long time.

George sat at the fire for a moment and took stock of his inventory and found that his two glowing flasks were full again. When he was done resting he stood up and as soon as he had made the first turn down the path he was accosted by more villagers in tattered clothes wielding short swords and jagged daggers. He was getting better at blocking their attacks and with some effort and only drinking twice from his golden flask he found himself staring into a round and ruined courtyard. In the center of the courtyard, a giant in ornate silver armor knelt with its head to the floor motionless. Just beyond the statued knight were a set of doors.

"That must be where I need to go," George said and headed toward the large doors at the far end of the yard making sure to give a wide berth to the giant as George had learned that this world was full of deadly surprises.

The door was locked.

"Hmm," George murmured and then began running around the courtyard for a clue as to what he had to do next.

After frantically running the diameter of the area a few times he walked slowing up to the kneeling knight. Up close he noticed that there was a strange black mass undulating in and around the knight's back. Then he noticed that a long coiled sword was plunged halfway through the knight's chest. With apprehension, he began to pull the sword from the statue's chest. As it came free mists and spurts of blood began to fly from the sword and as it fell to the ground the giant raised its head and stood up.

George backed away but in no time the giant was picking up his large halberd and moving swiftly toward him. George turned and as he began to run back toward the safety of the beautiful bonfire he saw before him a wall of fog blocking his way. He tried running through the fog but just as he found that he couldn't and turned, the sharp end of the giant's halberd was slamming down on his head. He attempted to drink from his flask but just as he pulled it out of his pocket another blow was raining down on him and he found himself in a haze of mist and death.

He arose at the previous bonfire and was not surprised to find that all the enemies he had dispensed with earlier were back to torment him. He checked his flasks and the two were full but his jar of white smoke was empty. This time with a little more rage and resolved to regain that which he had lost he made his way toward the courtyard once more.

The villagers were a difficult obstacle but he found a way to minimize how many he had to interact with and when he found himself in front of the giant the second time he was only down one drink of life juice. He felt confident as he passed through the threshold toward his foe but this time the giant was already up and making his way toward him. George pulled up his shield and walked forward. The giant struck him hard in the shield and he was hurt but alive. He swung his ax striking the knight once for decent damage but just as he went for another he was struck by the giant's side stomp and stunned for a moment. The giant swung again hitting him square in the side of his body staining the ground with his dark red blood.

His life nearly gone, he rolled back until he couldn't roll anymore and took a drink from his flask, giving him back the majority of his health. He pulled his shield up just in time as the halberd slammed against it again. George made his way around the giant's side and began to slash it his flank as fast as he could doing more and more damage but with another stomp and slash the giant was on him causing his health to dwindle. George tried rolling back again but after the second roll, he found himself without any ground to roll onto and as he plummeted down an endless abyss he thought to himself, YOU DIED!

With even more rage in his heart George crossed the threshold of the courtyard but this time he ran at the giant full speed and started swinging blindly until he found himself being slammed to the ground by the massive halberd. He got up and started swinging blindly again only the have the giant lunge forward slamming the halberd down and up again launching him into the air and as he hit the ground he thought to himself again, YOU DIED.

"FUCK!," he exclaimed as he was resurrected at the bonfire. This time he ran past all the villagers and headed straight into the fight. Instead of striking the giant face-on George remembered that the knight's flank was exposed after it attacked so this time he maneuvered around to the right at each opportunity and struck as much as he could. He took a halberd to the face a few times but was making progress. After each strike, he would try to flank him and strike until exhausted but still the giant was too fast and too powerful. His life dwindling he rolled to the right, then to the left and when he had just a moment to act he struck the knight and something different happened.

All of a sudden the knight stopped and a mass of writhing black tar burst out of his back and head and a new head with burning red eyes and a long snout arose out of his body. A pale long arm stretched out from the knight's side and with a screech, the knight was now a hideous monstrosity. Not knowing what to make of this George made his way to what he thought was the creature's flank and began to strike as fast as he could taking chunks out of its flesh. The creature turned and struck down with its long face slamming George to the ground. With just a sliver of life left and the creature gearing up for another attack he rolled to the right just in time to miss being hit and took a drink from his golden flask.

With vigor, George rolled toward the half-knight-half-black-tar-creature and struck it again and again. The creature was nearly dead when it leaped into the sky and in an attempt to miss the incoming strike George rolled backward but he rolled too soon and the creature landed with its full weight on his body killing him once more.

"NOOOOOO!!!!! I fucking had him! Goddamnit! Fuck! FUck! FUCK!" George spewed out of his mouth as he was being resurrected.

George decided to take a break. He was so angry that he knew that if he continued he would just die again exacerbating his rage. Instead, he decided to look around the area and practice killing the villagers. He tried taking each one individually and found them much easier to deal with one on one. Around one bend in the path, he had found some dark black orbs and found that if he threw them they burst into flames like a bomb from a Mario Brothers game. He only had 4 after the initial test throw so he decided to save them for when he really needed them.

After a few more practice sessions in the area and with his jar filling up nicely with white smoke he decided to take on the giant again. He crossed the threshold and ran up to the giant and waited for it to strike. When it did he moved to his right and struck a few times and then waited for the next strike. He was beginning to read the giant's patterns and concentrated on what he was doing in a way he hadn't before. George was in the "zone" this time and in no time the knight was again transforming into a blackened creature. The fight became more intense but George kept his witts and drank from his flask only twice thus far.

The creature's health was nearly gone and in his haste, George swung too many times and as he became exhausted the creature smashed him into the ground taking most of his health away. He got up, rolled to the right and drank from the flask just in time to miss another strike. He rolled toward the back of the creature but just as he went to swing his ax the creature jumped into the air. George waited for a half second and then rolled away from the creature as it struck the ground missing him entirely. The creature was too far away to strike but George remembered the black bombs.

"Fuck it!" he said to himself as he flung a black bomb at the creature's blackface.

The creature screeched and writhed in pain as the bomb exploded, setting it aflame. That did it and it was over as it began to fade away from the world in a haze of smoke and blood.

"YES!!!!!" George exclaimed pumping his fist into the air and he began to dance a little. When he was done celebrating he noticed a small bonfire appeared in the center of the yard and when he touched the sword sticking out of it the bonfire blazed with delight and they were both at peace. After resting, George took out his jar and found it full of wonderful white smoke. He walked over to the large doors and with all his strength he pulled them open.

Thursday, April 5, 2018

30 Days of Fiction: 19

Because he didn't know where he came from, who he was or how he had died, he was now a blank slate. He could name himself whatever he wanted and that would be his first challenge. For some reason, Jake came to mind, but that was too obvious and boring so he thought about all the great names that he could call himself. Ghengis Khan, Martin Luther, Ragnar, Shakespear, Godzilla, but those were too obvious and lacked individuality. So maybe something more descriptive and creative, he thought. Maybe Gluten Master, Knee Slapper, Green Monkey, or Magical Martian? No, none of that would do and he felt that he was wasting time. He just needed to pick one and move on.

He thought for a moment and finally decided to go with George. That's fine, he thought and now onto gender. He could be female or male but it made little difference so he went with male; George is a male name and he was male and so why not, he thought. Next, he had to choose what he would enter the world with and who he wanted to become in the end. He could be a strong man, a dancing fencer, a sorcerer, a healer or a myriad of other choices but in his heart, he knew who he wanted to be in this life. He would be the strongest warrior this land had ever seen and he would take on his foes like a thunderous hammer striking through them to the earth itself. No one would stand in his way for long. Also, he had a ring that gave him 10% more life. He finished calibrating his reincarnation parameters and was born again.

He stood in a dark and desolate graveyard holding a short ax in his right hand and a wooden shield in the other. The world was in ruin, decaying for what must have been centuries. Even the trees and grasses looked sad and how could they not be as the sun did not make it far into this area. George moved forward quickly, excited to find out more about what this land had to offer and as he turned the first corner he saw a strange looking man standing still and holding a dagger. Maybe he knows what is happening, George thought and started toward the man but just then the man lunged at George with the dagger slicing his chest.

"What the fuck!" George exclaimed and took a quick step back just as the psychotic villager began to flail madly striking him another time.

George was next to death but managed to find his will and swung his ax hard at the man. The remnant of what used to be a man lay on the ground before him in a sad pile face down in the mud. Feeling weaker and wearier George looked up to see another strange man sitting against a broken fountain. Inside the fountain's fractured basin an orb of white light could be seen. I wonder what that is, he thought as he moved forward. When he was about 10 yards from the enticing light the villager stood up and without hesitation began running at him dagger first. This time George held out his shield and blocked the first strike and as he let his shield down the man hesitated and then flailed unexpectedly striking him in the face and chest and he fell to his knees in agony. He had just started but just as fast as he was born he had died and the world faded into darkness.

YOU DIED, he thought as he stood next to the grave he had started from in the damp cemetery a few minutes earlier. He started forward resolute not to die again and happy that he had another chance. He turned the same first corner as before and the man that he had killed before was resurrected and stood there again with his dagger in hand. This time he walked slowly forward with his shield up and as the man lunged forward to attack him he blocked strike after strike until the man stopped and he swung his ax once more vanquishing the undead madman. He hadn't noticed before but as the man died he felt his pocket become slightly heavier and when felt into his pocket he found a small glass jar. The jar contained a small amount of what looked like glowing white smoke resting at the bottom. Curious, he thought and put the jar back into his pocket.

He moved forward but this time he was ready for the next undead man and struck him down as swiftly as the first but this time there was a green and red stain on the ground where he had died before. Stepping over it he could feel the weight in his pocket slightly increase and when he looked again at the jar he saw that there was a little bit more smoke then there was before. He put the jar back and stepped forward toward the basin in front of him. In the basin was a mysterious light that blinded him from seeing what the basin contained. With trepidation, he reached his hand into the basin and beneath the piercing light he felt a small glass item and as he pulled his hand out the light disappeared revealing a glass flask containing a glowing blue liquid.

George opened the lid of the flask and drank its contents but there was no effect. It had no smell or taste and seemed to do nothing so he put the flask into his other pocket. As he did he felt that another item was already in that pocket and when he pulled that item out he saw that it was another glass flask. This time it was full of a glowing golden liquid and when he drank from it he felt slightly better and it had a sweet nourishing taste. Not knowing better he drank took three gulps and put it back into his pocket feeling vigorous and energized.

He had walked only a short distance before he heard the rasping barks of a large creature. He braced himself and watched as a white wolf rounded the corner with the speed of a greyhound. It bared its teeth and sprung forward smashing its massive white head into George's shield. He swung his ax reflexively but hit only air. The beast had jumped back swiftly and then sprung forward again, this time sinking its teeth into George's side taking out a sizable chunk. He swung again, even harder, hitting the wolf in the face and knocking it back several feet. As it struggled to get to its feet George rummaged in his pocket and pulled out the flask with the golden liquid but when he looked the container had little more than a few drops. He realized he had no more life juice and was attacked by the wolf again and as he fell to his knees once more he thought about how he might try it next time.