Book Review: The Acolyte by Nick Cutter

 

The Acolyte takes place in the dystopian city of New Bethlehem, a city much like modern-day New York or Chicago except that the governing body is controlled by a religious totalitarian regime that has made any deviation from Christian ethics a criminal offense. In order to combat crimes against the faith, they have created an enforcement agency with authority above all others. Jonah Murtag is one of these agents and he is 'The Acolyte' we follow throughout this terrifying tale of tyranny, treachery, and intrigue. 

Murtag is a devout follower of the faith and even turned his mother in for her sins when he was a child. She was sent to a center where part of her brain was removed rendering her with the intellect of a child. Murtag and his fellow acolytes spend their days cracking the skulls of those who dare to break the rules set forth by the ancient text of the Bible. Gays are sent to reconditioning centers or they are otherwise eliminated. Atheists are arrested, taken to prison, or beaten to death in the process. Muslims and Jews are allowed to live in ghettos to continue having a large workforce but their children are forced to adopt Christian ways and no one is allowed to practice or hold onto any non-Christian religious traditions, symbols, or relics.  Also, science is essentially gone as it provides a source of doubt and an alternative explanation to the word of God. 

One night Murtag is tasked with being the bodyguard of the daughter of the most important man in the city, The Prophet. The Prophet runs the city and his family is the shining light of all that is holy until one night, when a terrorist self explodes, killing The Prophet's daughter and almost killing Murtag and his fellow Acolyte Doe. Murtag's sins begin with his lust for Doe, the first female acolyte, who turns out to be much more than just another follower. As the investigation into the bombing begins more bombs start to go off around the city and as Murtag gets closer to the truth he gets farther from his faith. As his faith devolves his humanity starts to blossom as he indulges in acts of compassion as well as sins of the flesh. He acts as a microcosm of the impending destruction that engulfs the city around him. As the city is torn apart so is his mind and by the end, he becomes what the powerful fear the most; a committed believer. 

Nick Cutter writes in a very straightforward fashion with little in the way of colorful metaphors or long-winded internal diatribes. The chapters are short and continuous. The story is a relentless trek through a dark and dangerous realm full of the worst of what humans are capable of. It provides a stark example of how horrendous acts can be made justifiable with a strong enough belief in one's own righteousness. When power meets conviction anything is possible. This story is a huge allegory for the problems that come from religious dogma, totalitarian governments, and the inevitability of violent reactions to subjugation and tyranny. 

This is a good book if you can stomach some very gruesome depictions and macabre situations. There were a few moments where I was genuinely disturbed and a little put off. It is very pulpy and like a certain type of horror, it paints pictures in blood to a degree that may not be for some. I would recommend it to anyone interested in a quick read that packs a big irreverent punch. 

Brief Thoughts on the Ontological Argument

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The ontological argument...

Anselm defined God as "a being that which no greater can be conceived", and argued that this being must exist in the mind, even in the mind of the person who denies the existence of God. He suggested that, if the greatest possible being exists in the mind, it must also exist in reality because if it exists only in the mind, then an even greater being must be possible—one which exists both in the mind and in reality. Therefore, this greatest possible being must exist in reality. 

---- From Wikipedia

The first issue I have with this argument is the use of the word "being". Is a being a conscious creature? Is a being a sentient thing? Is a being a type of person? Is a being an alien? Anyway...

The use of the term "greater" is an issue as well. The term greater makes no sense by itself. Greater than what? Greater just means bigger or better or more, which all require context. There has to be a standard to refer to. Maybe Anselm created this context in his works and defined a standard "being" in which to compare his notion of a greater being and then went so far as to infinitely extend the idea until he just ended with the word God. As in the same God that is the vague term used to describe any unknown or unknowable thing personified as an agent. 

Essentially the argument is...

If I can think about something it can exist outside the mind if I  just ad the word "better" to it. With the word better I can argue that it is better to exist outside the mind and therefore if a thing I think about is the best of its category (for example a "being") then it must exist because it would be better to have that thing in existence outside the mind than limited to just inside the mind. 

This argument is shit. It allows for existence to arise from thoughts alone and for anything thought of to exist in reality. 

Example: If I can think of the best guitar and it exists in my brain then the best guitar must exist in reality because the best guitar is only made the best by existing outside the brain. Because it is better to exist then to simply be imagined. But the concept of better and the concept of existence have little to do with each other. 

Something can exist without being better than anything else. Being better only occurs when comparing two things and not all things require comparison to understand. It can simply have a purpose or a relationship with other things or it might be something that simply exists with no discernable interaction with anything you understand. Maybe you see a cloud a few miles away. It makes no difference to you in any practical way but you see it and it exists. It is not better or worse than anything. It's just a noteworthy cloud. 

Any argument that puts human consciousness as the basis for reality seems needlessly vain. The idea that nothing would exist without humans is ridiculously presumptuous because it presumes that before humans existed there was nothing. This is stupid. Before you existed plenty of things existed. Unless you don't believe that things exist outside of your mind. If you think that the only existence that exists is the existence of thoughts and that you have a singular existential experience and that is what matters seems too insular. The history of life is the history of interaction. From when single cells began to combine with each other all biology has been an interconnected network of communication, metabolism, and other ecological concepts. To distill all of existence to what exists in human minds seems limited. 

Humans attempt to describe reality based on their sensory and communicative capabilities. Because humans observe reality and have the ability to see themselves as a part of that reality they can describe themselves in the same way they describe other things. Just because you exist and your brain exists doesn't mean that something you thought of exists outside your synapses. I would imagine that it would be easier to think of things that don't exist rather than think of things that do exist. Even if you had a complete list of things that actually exist in the universe you could still think of combinations or exaggerations of those things that would exponentially increase the things you can think about. Most of those things would not exist. 

For example: If I know of all the animals that exist I can imagine each of those animals with a chair growing out of their back and I just doubled the amount of bullshit in my head but that doesn't mean that each animal exists with a chair growing out of its back in reality. It makes no sense. Being able to think about something or imagine something has almost no relation to what actually exists in the world. 

It seems like ontological arguments are actually just arguments designed to satisfy an already-held view. It puts too much value on cognitive capacities and conjures up reality out of thin air which is not scientific or rational. If one wants to justify their irrational beliefs one can use the ontological argument.

I'm reminded of the argument, "I think, therefore I am." The problem with this is that in isolation you can't really determine that you exist scientifically. There is nothing to test against. You need others to verify a hypothesis and engaging in experiments. I think that if others think you exist and you can interact with external objects then you probably exist. Or at least exist in some context.

The concept of God exists but that doesn't mean that there is a perfect "being" running around doing things.  

30 Days of Fiction: Day 27

*

The room was filled with the soft light of the morning sun as the alarm clock's wrenching beeps pierced through the silence of Adam Nusbaum's room. It was a plain room meant for only the most basic of human activities. Reading, sleeping and the bathroom for cleaning. Everything from the alphabetized bookshelf to the color-coded clothes in the closet was organized for pragmatic purpose and ease of use. No extras. No frills. On the walls, a single painting hung above the reading chair with the inspirational phrase "Just do it!" in bold yellow letters on top of a runner with nice shoes sweating through a finish line.

Adam was normally ready to "Just do it" in the morning but this particular morning he woke up distracted from the aching pain in his teeth and jaw. This was a new sensation for him and it had disturbed his sleep but he was determined to have a good day regardless. By the time he got out of the shower and brushed his teeth the pain had been willed away by sheer enthusiasm. He literally whistled as he packed his satchel with books with titles such as "Earth: An Introduction to Physical Geology", "Rocks and Minerals", and a paperback of Stephen King's "The Shining". When he got in his car to drive the 15 miles to his job at Lincoln High School the song "I'm Happy" by Pharrell Williams was the first upbeat tune he would slap his hands on the steering wheel to as he belted out the lyrics with only half the words correct.

Adam was still humming the words to "Let it Go" from the soundtrack to the movie "Frozen" when his students filed into the room with the energy and enthusiasm of the last bit of molasses reluctantly dripping out of the end a cold bottle. Most of the students failed to notice the warm smile on their teacher's face as their heads hung down over their chests counteracting the force from their heavy backpacks. He was one of the very few men that could accomplish simultaneously portraying a sense of intense engagement and overwhelming calmness. He leaned against the desk, arms folded and waited patiently for each student to give him eye contact and within a few minutes the room was silent with all eyes on him.

"How are we doing this morning?" Adam asked in a tone that told the students this was not a rhetorical question.

A civilized cacophony of answers erupted from the students. "Pretty good!" "Just fine!" "I'm good." "What's up?" "How are you?"

"I'm doing very well everyone," Adam answered like the question sent his way was an incoming tennis ball requiring a speedy response. "I woke up with a nasty pain in my jaw this morning. I've never felt it before. It felt like every tooth was trying to get out of my skull."

"Maybe you are getting sick," said a helpful female student in the back.

"Maybe," Adam pondered and wondered if he felt any other signs of sickness. "I don't feel sick, Sam. But that might be it."

"Maybe you're grinding your teeth," said a helpful female student from the front row. "My dad grinds his teeth. He has to wear a mouthguard now."

"Hm, maybe I'm grinding my teeth because I'm getting sick? Good thinking Jen." Adam said and looked around the room scanning for a face. He locked onto one and asked, "How was your weekend Sean?"

"Um," Sean started to answer, not prepared for such an ominously simple question. "I, uh, went riding with my dad in the hills above Empire. That was fun."

"That sounds awesome," Adam said remembering when he used to ride motorcycles with his friends in the dunes on weekends. He scanned the room and locked onto another face. "How was your weekend Jax?"

Jax tried to hide his smile but it crept in at the edges of his mouth and betrayed the serious face he thought made him seem more grown up. He said cooly, "I killed my first deer this weekend. With my dad and brother. No big deal."

Some of the other boys were so impressed they let out a harmony with sounds like "ohh" and "aww".  Silently Jen grimaced and mouthed the sound, "boo."

"That isn't easy Jax. How did you do it? Gun or bow?" Adam asked.

"Winchester 30 06," Jax said and crossed his arms with pride.

"Why did you shoot the deer?" Adam asked.

Jax unfolded his arms and stared blankly into Adam's eyes and finally offered, "The meat?"

"Alright! Good answer!" Adam said and scanned the room for reactions. Jen was staring at the ground and caught his attention. He asked, "Does anyone have anything else to say before we get started with today's lesson?" Adam hoped she would take his prompt if she had a differing opinion and he waited.

Jen's head was weighed down by the potential shame in dissenting from the majority but she had to say something. The fact that so many classmates were impressed with Jax and his family of killers was unbearable to her. That anyone could kill a defenseless and beautiful animal like a deer was inconceivable and she had to say something. Her eyes lifted and when they were brave enough she spoke, "I think it is morally wrong to kill another living creature. Especially when you don't have to. I mean, we don't have to go out killing creatures in the forest, just minding their own business, just for the fun of it. I don't understand..."

The room was silent for a moment as each student began an internal war of whether or not to think about what she said or to simply go with the group.

"We kill all sorts of animals to feed people," the calm but assertive voice of Callie, a confident 14-year-old student, interjected. "Unless you don't eat meat, I guess."

"Alright class," Adam took over the room with his "teacher" voice. "This is an interesting topic and if anyone would like to talk more about it, or even better if two people or two teams want to have a debate about hunting, farming or something like that, let me know after class and I will help set something up. For now, we need to get back to the task at hand." He turned quickly and pulled a stack of papers from off his desk and waved them in the air wildly. "I look forward to hearing about everyone's weekend during today's lab. We will be getting into to groups to like at some badass rocks!"

*

Adam drove away from the school feeling that the day had been a resounding success. He had started many lively conversations and all the labs went well. The students were engaged and he tried his best not to ignore anyone. His jaw still felt tense after he had bit into an apple during lunch but other than that he was happy. He did wonder what had caused the pain in his mouth. So much was he distracted by its mysterious cause that he didn't once drum his hands to the beat on the steering wheel or belt out any lyrics. The music was on but he wouldn't have been able to tell anyone what had he had heard. He only heard what he thought the sound of grinding teeth might sound like.

At home, he parked in his neat and organized garage where he knew he could find the digital recorder he had once used to do some light podcasting. He found it in a large cardboard box marked "Podcast Addicts" on the side and after some additional rummaging he found the power cable and rushed inside to test it out. He loved the idea of recording himself sleeping. What an unusual experiment it would be, he thought with glee as he tested the recorder by singing "Let it go! Let it go!"

That evening he chopped an onion into perfectly identical cubes making sure to prepare it beforehand as to minimize the vapors infecting his eyes. He minced garlic and mixed in the can of beans and thought about what he would do if it turned out that he was not grinding his teeth. As he poured the hot chili soup into his bowl he wondered what other noises he might hear in the middle of the night.

His house sat amongst a neat row of virtually identical houses in a shiny new development. He was bound to hear neighbors coming and going or dogs howling. He watched television for exactly one hour, which was what he allowed himself each night and read his current novel. "The Shining" was one he always wanted to read but had never gotten around to before now. Engrossed so fully in the Stephen King book Adam forgot himself and the time and before he knew it he was checking the doors, turning off lights and tucking himself in. He pressed the big red button on the voice recorder that sat on the side table and fell asleep.

*

The morning came early for Adam as his anticipation coaxed him awake with the prospect of solving one of life's little mysteries. He delayed the gratification of knowing until after his cup of coffee and he stood for quite a while staring out the window into the darkness of the dimly lit street until his mind could no longer hold off the desire to look at the waves of sound on his computer screen. It took a minute or so to load the entire 7 hours of recording time and when it did Adam stretched the timeline out and examined its patterns.

The previous evening's sound profile consisted of a series of sharp peaks like sharks teeth followed by long sections with barely a blip. It mostly consisted of light to medium snoring, the hum of the AC and a curiously short but rapid stint of himself talking. He zoomed into the area that contained him speaking, curious what he might have said while he slept. The peaks were consistently sharp and evenly spaced as if each word was given an equal emphasis like the beginning to a drum roll but it went on for only 30 seconds or so. He raised its volume by 5 decibels as to hear it better.

In his headset, he heard himself repeat with perfect enunciation and rhythm Revelation 12:9 which goes:

"The great dragon was hurled down – that ancient serpent called the devil, or Satan, who leads the whole world astray. He was hurled to the earth, and his angels with him."

This was followed by a whispy rhythmic pulse of sound like wind escaping a crevice at even intervals that lasted only a few seconds followed by another recitation in his voice of the Bible. This time it was Revelation 3:20: 

"Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with them, and they with me."

Adam nearly panicked at hearing himself so easily recite verses he never memorized. He remembered going to Sunday School and being made to memorize bible verses but he still knew all the verses he had memorized fairly well but he didn't recognize these verses. With a sideways glance, he noticed something about the audio signature the followed his rapid hellish sermons. He zoomed in and increased its volume but it was still a rhythmic series of wind. Determined to examine this odd background disturbance he stacked a few more copies of that section to amplify the waves and listened again. This time an amazingly fast and articulate voice that could only be described as sensuous recited another bible verse, this time into Adam's sleeping ears. It was Psalm 34:7:

“The angel of the Lord encamps around those who fear him, and he delivers them.”

As he listened to this section over again a few more times his heartbeat sped up to match the rapidity and soothing cadence of the one reciting the bible verses to him. Who was it? What was it? Was it him? His mind raced until the cursor continued past that sections and he heard himself repeat what was just said. Loudly he heard himself say, "The angel of the Lord encamps around those who fear him, and he delivers them." His jaw dropped as he stared into the screen not wanting to hear any more. After a stunned moment of shock, his headphone was sharply wrenched from its round port and thrown against the wall. 

He put the horrible results on his experiment out of his mind as best he could and continued his normal morning routine. The song "I'm Happy" blared throughout the house as he attempted to regain his positive disposition but even the relentless "I Gotta Feeling" by the Black Eyed Peas wasn't enough to rid his mind of the revelation the sound waves had uncovered. He drove to work in a haze and made it to class just as his first students walked in. 

The students noticed he was not in his usual engaged stance but waited in silence none the less. He starred out the window for far too long and then finally asked the class without looking at them, "Where did we leave off?"

"Yesterday we had a lab identifying rocks," the helpful Jen answered with enthusiasm while her teacher looked out the window with a blank expression. 

After a moment of silence, he said, "Alright. Let's do that again today." He decided to turn to the class and was glad he did after he saw the eager faces that looked back at him. His spirits were lifted ever so slightly and he added, "This time we will focus on the conglomerate rocks."

*

The day had passed without help from Adam's conscious perception. His memories were blotted out by the incessant meandering thought of the recitation of Bible verses from the night before. He tried to convince himself that both voices were his own. It was just an odd case of someone whispering and muttering in two voices, one of which was leagues quieter than the other and in a different voice, he thought but failed to fully convince himself. Bible verses from his childhood raced around his head as he searched for any sign that he knew those particular verses he had muttered but his mind held no such memories. 

At home, he sat alone in silence, ate a bowl of chicken noodle soup he had made a few days earlier and afterward attempted to distract himself with television. He hoped that the soothing blandness of shows like "America's Got Talent" and "Survivor" would lull his brain into forgetting the fact that soon he would be tired and would have to sleep. As the television beamed its bright distracting rays for hours into his bloodshot eyes his eyelids began to betray him and sunk lower and lower. Before he passed out on the couch he stared at the big red record button on the recorder which grew large and seemed to stare back at him taunting him to dare press it. At four in the morning, he couldn't take it anymore so he shut the television off and with all the bravery he could muster he rolled over, and pressed the big red button and fell asleep.  

*

The morning came but Adam didn't get the message as he snored through the loud beeps of his alarm clock. Sometime after they had stopped their incessant screeches he was awakened by the somewhat less obnoxious sound of his phone's ringer. He wiped a bit of dried drool away from the edges of his mouth and answered it.

On the other end of the phone was the voice of his soft-spoken assistant principle Judith Calahan who asked, "Is everything alright Adam? Your students missed you this morning. This isn't like you."

Adam was as surprised as anyone by this news and when he looked at the time it was already eleven am and the pain in his teeth and jaw became once again apparent. His head was in a haze of confusion as to how he arrived in this particular predicament until he remembered that he had stayed up until past four watching shit television. He was also surprised to find that he was in his bed and that the red light of the recorder was still on. He hit the red button and said, "I'm not feeling well Judith. I'm very sorry but I need to stay home. Might be food poisoning."

"Alright then, but next time, can you give us proper notice, please?" Judith said in an attempted to assert herself.

"Of course," Adam replied and pressed the little red button to hang up the phone. He laid in bed and stared at the recorder for what felt like hours as he contemplated its contents. Would there be another bible verse reading or something even worse on its digital brain? At 11:30 he forced himself out of bed and made a cup of coffee. As the hot brown liquid flowed through his veins he began to feel normal again. That is until he walked into his room and found that the recorder was still sitting on the side table testing his will. Why put off the inevitable? He was a scientific man and this was simply a scientific proposition and that is all there was to it.

The downloaded file looked the same as it had the day before. Mostly small blips and bleeps but to Adam's scientific horror there was a section in the middle of more pronounced sharp peaks and valleys that indicated he had spoken into the recorder once again. This time the peaks and valleys were not so rapid and not so regular but instead looked more like the profile he remembered from when he would edit his podcast episodes except that where the second person would normally have spoken there were smaller waveforms which indicated the second speaker was barely audible. He put the cursor to the first section and pressed the spacebar down. He heard himself speak.

"You again. I don't want to learn any more bible verses. I want what you promised."

Adam adjusted the nearly silent sections between his words and listened to the voice in the margins.

"You will get all that you wish for and more but you must be patient and you must do as you are told."

"I will. Just tell me what to do." Adam was disgusted to hear himself sound so feeble.

"You are not yet worthy of the mercy of the lord. You must purge the evil that surrounds you. You must vanquish the corruption that would infect and defile the innocent."

"Who is corrupt? Who must I destroy?" Adam listened to his enthusiastic other self in horror.

"You have been chosen to rid the world of a great evil. One that has already used their power to molest innocent children at your school. One that sits at the most powerful desk and has given you your position. One that plots even now, as you sleep, to take another by the end of the week."

"I know of whom you speak. Principal Mauser."

"Yes," the voice hissed in excitement. "Now, get up and go to your room. You will sleep well today for there is much to do soon. You will tell Judith Calahan that you have food poisoning. Then you will fulfill your duty and be blessed."

"Yes, master. Thank you, master." Adam said and then heard the rustle of himself getting up off the couch to trod into his bedroom.

He heard himself say the words but didn't believe it. Was he going insane? How could he test this theory? Show someone? Who could he show? They would think he was schizophrenic, delusional and other words Adam remembered from his psychology course in college. He couldn't tell anyone, he decided. He didn't even know what he would tell them. He moved around the house like a zombie unaware that he was talking to himself out loud and pacing in and out of rooms with no conscious effort.

The clock struck 1:30 PM and he was still enough for a silent lunch, followed by frantically going over the audio files for the next 6 hours. He dissected them with every audio editing trick he could think of. With the help of Youtube's finest giving him advice on how to use the AudioCity freeware program to edit audio files. He also used Youtube to search for evidence of paranormal activity. Youtube's algorithms acted as a divining rod which guided him into an endless spiral of ghostly videos. With titles like "10 Terrifying Recordings of Paranormal Activity" and "10 Possessed People on Tape" his mind slowly deteriorated into madness.

*

It was three in the morning when Adam drove to Principal Mauser's house. There would have been a darker veil covering the town that night but the clouds had opened up just for him to reveal a full and bright moon that lit his path. Like a beacon, it stayed in view guiding him toward the defiler's home. He made no attempt at a stealthy entrance, and even as he stumbled out of the vehicle, still wearing the same clothes he slept in the night before, the high beams of his car shown against the front windows of the pale gray house. Something glimmered in his hand as he stood and stared at the house until the door opened.

The principal burst out of the house with a pistol in one hand and a flashlight in the other. Henry Mouser was not the kind of man that would shrink from an altercation, but instead did as he always did in such situations, he met it head-on. "Who's there!" He shouted and pointed both hand held implements at the dark figure in his front yard. The flashlights 500 lumens should have blinded Adam as it slammed against his face but he didn't blink. When the principal recognized who stood in front of him he sighed in relief. It was only the happy, quiet and generally ignorable geology teacher. "Mr. Nusbaum? What in the hell are you doing here? It's three in the fucking morning man."

Adam said nothing but instead stared at the principal as he recounted the demon's words in his head:

"You have been chosen to rid the world of a great evil... One that plots now, as you sleep, to take another by the end of the week."

He had listened to it so many times that day that it echoed off the walls of his mind like an alarm. It rang in his head so loudly he barely heard the principal say, "What's that in your hand?"

Adam looked down and saw the 22 caliber revolver his dad had given him when he was a boy in his hand and smiled with gleeful surprise as if he hadn't been the one to place it there. He continued to smile as he raised the pistol upward and as he did so so did Principal Mauser raise his pistol upward. 

"What are you doing? You crazy motherfucker!" Principal Mauser yelled with sheer anger and confusion. 

The flash from Adam's pistol fought against the flashlight's beam and won the day as its projectile hit its glass bulb straight on which caused a temporary darkness to fill the yard. Time slowed for both men but only lasted until the next shots rang out. The next 15 seconds were punctuated by flashes and bursts from both pistols as both men pulled their respective triggers as fast as they could. While neither of them was trained in the ways of the duel they each met the challenge with equal effectiveness. When the flurry of noise and sparks ended both men fell to the ground. Both bled from multiple wounds. Mrs. Mauser called for paramedics as she held her husband's lifeless body.  

Causalism not Determinism and Some Ruminations on Free Will

One problem I have in accepting determinism is the word determinism. Determinism implies a determiner which assumes some sort of agency. This makes sense due to the roots of determinism being either religious or scientific. From the religious perspective all actions are pre-determined by a deity agent and from the scientific perspective knowledge is gained from observation from human agents. Determinism from the scientific point of view is based on cause and effect and the lacking of true human agency in the equation. Humans are simply subject to prior causes and the effects cascade toward more cause and effect chains. This would be better described as "Causalism", not determinism.

Because determinism rests of the concept of knowable causal forces it is simpler and more objection to call it causalism. If causality can be mapped with perfection then the future would, presumably, be predicted but not determined. Determination seems like inevitability based on an agent's word instead of an objective assessment of what physical forces should do. The future doesn't exist and I believed that no matter how precise we can observe reality there would likely be missing data, error, or other mysterious forces such as underlying quantum chaos that would make perfect knowledge and predictability impossible. We might get to 99.9% but it still wouldn't be determined, just very accurately predicted.

Are all physical forces consistent, constant and reliable? I am not sure. While logic has taught us to rely on physics due to it's reliable predictive power it doesn't mean that there is some room for variation and change. The universe is mysterious and science is a fairly new discipline. We should not be so vein to think that we understand what is immutable. For example, if the speed of light is not fixed then many calculations would be wrong. We should be skeptical about our assumptions. This is an interesting TedTalk about the potential misconceptions in science. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1TerTgDEgUE

This doesn't mean we should discount science. The scientific method is certainly the best way to test truth claims about reality but I think there is room for philosophy as well.

Ruminations on Free Will:
Why can't a mind be a direct cause of an effect? If so why can't the agent, who owns the mind, be in control (choice) of that cause? Free will may lie somewhere in the chaos of the mind or somewhere in the conscious effort to change the future. The mind is just as physical as genetics and environment so why can't it have a discreet effect on reality and the future?

If all causes are products of prior effects and causes then can there be a first cause? This seems to lead toward a deity outside of time and space. The "turtles all the way down" argument doesn't lead anywhere.

If causes and effects can occur spontaneously or arise from complexity then the mind seems like a prime candidate for a machine capable of creating new chains of causation.

I do admit that I want Free Will to exist. I think it allows for more personal responsibility and change and I feel that I am free to make certain decisions. I do not believe in complete freedom and I admit that most actions are a product of prior or current physical forces acting inside and outside of myself that I can not control. But in those few moments where choice comes into play, and I can slow down and see the potential outcomes of an action I believe that "I" am free to choose. This may be rare and training myself to recognize them may be a lifelong discipline but it seems to increase my well being.

Here is a great conversation between Sam Harris and Dan Dennett about this topic:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vFa7vFkVy4g
Check out Sam Harris's podcast for great content here:
https://www.samharris.org/podcast

This is a great talk between Sam Harris and David Deutsch about the power of explanation and the limits of knowledge:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J21QuHrIqXg

Religious rants and the word god.

Religious rants and the word god.

 I am a poor Buddhist because I fear the quietness in my mind.

I am a poor Christian because I do not believe in old stories.

I am a horrible Muslim because I do not believe in old stories.

I am a horrible Mormon because I don’t trust white leaders.

I will never be a catholic because gold is gaudy and ridiculous.

I am not an atheist even though I do not believe in god. I actually have a problem with the word god. I don’t think it means anything and I think it can mean anything so it is useless. When someone thinks that they do not believe in god they are saying they do not believe in a word that has no real meaning. When you acknowledge that the word is blindingly ambiguous you can acquire better knowledge of what you are talking about.

Before there was a word god there was a concept of god. And that concept had a clear meaning the people using that word. But when they said it they did not say god. They said the word for god in their language and it was understood before anyone had to write it down. If you have a religion you think that you know what the word god means. You go to church and read books about your god but you do not know what that word means.

The concept of god came at a time when people had very few words and the word god was powerful and deep. In each culture a new concept would emerge that described important and powerful things and soon the concept turned into worship and adoration. Some people built statues and monuments to celebrate their gods; their concepts. To some, gods had to be named and organized and for some god is one thing and for others god means everything or is it nothing and to some it means the earth and yet to some others it means the sun or moon or money or sex or fame or anything. Seriously it is a useless word.

So when someone asks if I believe in god what do I say? Do I say I do not believe in god when I do not know what that word means?  I have concepts of things and names for things and I can be content to not know things and name things that I do not know things I do not know. I do not desire to do anything more than to try to know what others mean when they say the words god or gods and try to understand why it matters. I think that there are more precise and creative ways to explain things than to continue to use this word GOD.

I am a poor agnostic because I am unsure that there is an answer to be unsure of. Maybe even the placing of a yes or no designation to the existence of something is the first mistake. Seeking is not the mistake but maybe inferior words and thinking lead to useless things.