Secret Diaries (Thoughts are like a river)

Kids keep secrets in diaries. I wonder why kids would need to keep so many secrets. Is a diary a poor substitute for true connection? If a child lives in a household full of open and honest communication I imagine they would have little need for a secret diary. They may have a diary for writing down thoughts but only a child who feels ashamed would need to conceal their thoughts in a book. Humans need to communicate so much that in lieu of another's ear people will write down their thoughts in an effort to satisfy the need to communicate. And for a moment the thoughts can rest.

Thoughts are like a river. The waters can be calm, barely indicating any potential danger but in an instant the waters are raging and thrashing along its banks. Emotions and thoughts torrent through the mind slicing a deeper and deeper river. And even in the rocky and narrow parts the river is not stopped. It rejects the obstacles and forces its way with still more violence and vigor. But sometimes the river comes to a head and a pool of stagnant muck accrues. The river is slowed and fills the space. The dam can only hold the river's weight and might for so long before the river finds a way over, under, around or through the dam.

It is somewhat sad to think that writing in a secret diary is the only way to ease the river along. I spend a lot of time managing my internal torrents of thoughts and perceptions. Sometimes I write them down in a notebook or on a blog. When I was young I made sure to hide myself from the judgement of others but now I long to connect. I want to express myself honestly and more fully. I want the river of my thoughts to never pool at the head of a complacent dam.