Shot with Canon 80D
100mm Macro Lens
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Wednesday, July 29, 2020
Monday, July 27, 2020
Photo Journal 7/25/2020
Shot with Canon 80D
100mm Macro Lens and 14-24 Sigma
Follow me on Instagram @g_grins and @fractalfocus.nature
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Friday, July 17, 2020
NOT Conscious
The hardest thing to do is convince someone you're not conscious. People see consciousness everywhere. They apply it to wind and rain. Mountains and rodents. We can personify anything including the universe and god and gods and vegetables. We tell stories of eggs that fall off of castles and bunnies that have tea parties. Everything is a metaphor for ourselves and we are everyone.
This is partly because humans aren't the only things that are conscious. That being said I also do not believe that rocks are conscious. The jury is out on plants and fungi which are mysteriously intelligent. I believe that consciousness exists on a spectrum but only after a few criteria are met. In order to be conscious one must be living. There has to be something more than mere mineral.
Maybe being in nature is soothing because it allows you to change the state of the consciousness that you are in. You can go to the desert to be truly alone. Alone with your thoughts. Alone but not alone in your environment. Out there somewhere there are creatures.
You can go to the forest and surround yourself with ancient trees and listen to the wind. I'd believe trees are conscious before I believed the wind is conscious.
I am not sure where the absolute line is for myself in regards to consciousness. I am not sure there needs to be a clear demarcation when it comes to consciousness. I do not think that people require a clearly formed understanding of consciousness to have empathy for other things, including plants and animals, and even inanimate things such as wind or mountains. Personifying things around us is very natural. When we are born it is very important that a child starts creating mental models of the people around them. By creating models the baby can start to predict what their parents might do and try to understand how to communicate with them. By modeling the environment and generating the concept of agency a baby can start to predict the interactions between agents and objects. A baby immediately starts to differentiate between the significant agents around them and the relatively predictable objects such as tables and binkys.
Agents are party identified by their ability to create change either in their physical location or by changing the physical location of something else. When a person picks up a glass of water they are changing the physical location of the glass and the water and now can be identified as an agent. A mover of things. An actor. Agents act upon other things and cause change to occur. The day that the glass picks up the person then we might call the glass an agent and suspect that it is conscious.
A trait that should be looked for when determining if an entity is conscious or not is to ask, "is the entity capable of agency?". Can it make alterations to its environment? Nearly all animals are agents in that they act upon the world and cause change. The wind does this so then why wouldn't a gust of wind be considered an agent?
Maybe agency is not enough to call something conscious? Maybe it is and maybe by a very loose definition, the wind could be considered an agent in a non-personified way. Maybe the only concepts we have about agency come from a personal and human perspective. If so then the only model we have of agency is of humans, first by observing parents and then by observing the self. We then apply this concept to other things even if it doesn't apply or is only slightly accurate.
Maybe the wind isn't an agent and it is certainly not conscious because my concept of consciousness is rooted in the belief that consciousness emerges from organized biological material such as neurons, muscles, blood, and hormones. Maybe neurons are the most important element in the formation of consciousness but I'm not sure that that is the case.
Maybe each cell is conscious and with complex networks of communication among cells, consciousness is at the apex of that increase in complexity. As an organism evolves toward more complex forms of assembly and more specialization and diversification of cell types along with the bilingual nature that must occur when cells communicate with necessary bacteria and other microbiomes.
In fact, there are more bacterial cells in your body than human cells. There are roughly 40 trillion bacterial cells in your body and only 30 trillion human cells."
-https://www.healthline.com/nutrition/gut-microbiome-and-health
Maybe the communication network of biological structures is necessary for consciousness. It is the unintended output of trillions of cells and trillions of bacteria trying to communicate with each other. In order to maintain the megastructure that is the human body creates.
Maybe the difference in humans is that the cells and bacteria in humans have a far more efficient way of communicating than other creatures. Encoded in our DNA and in the DNA of the bacteria there exists a unique instruction or schematic that fundamentally alters the megastructure and allows for an ultra-efficient communication system. One that is so efficient that it produces more than required to survive. Maybe the extra energy that is conserved from this efficiency can be utilized to improve the structure. It can be diverted to the brain and to creating systems that lead to successful gene transfer and multiplication.
Is it the cell's job to multiply? Is the whole system a mechanism of experimentation? Is resource allocation something that can be applied to the body? Or is it just a metaphor taken from the financial world?
Are bacteria small enough that they perceive cells and other microscopic biological structures in an unrelatable way?
Or is consciousness just an epiphenomenon? Just a ghost in the machine? An inert, neutral, unaffecting, wisp of entropy? The waste product of an overactive mind.
Of course, it is another example of the personification of entities that I relate the biological structures to the architectural and electrical systems I see in my life. The macro-environment that I occupy is a system that I have an elaborate model that is generalizable to other systems. I have a more or less organized set of beliefs about what a social system looks like so I can apply those interactions to the complex interactions occurring inside of the body. The idea that it is social is one of personification. Another act of projecting my own perspective onto something else.
While cells are molecular machines and do use molecules to communicate there is no evidence that they communicate in a similar way to what humans do. Proteins do not have mouths, lungs, or lips to make sounds and they do not have legs or arms to gesticulate their thoughts.
The cause and effects chains are highly complex in biological structures.
But what about plants?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pvBlSFVmoaw
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RpwW9Lw2Ku4
Plants have very similar cellular structures to humans. The structures of plants are also complex and even if there are no neurons in plants there are definitely communication systems.
Is consciousness a form of communication? If it is then it isn't necessary to have neurons to communicate and therefore it isn't necessary for consciousness. But is it sufficient to have consciousness?
Is all communication a form of consciousness?
What is communication? Communication is the output of information that is then interpreted and comprehended by an input location. Things that communicate are required to be able to take in information and to output information.
If consciousness requires communication then that would mean that the wind is not conscious because any message interpreted by a human would never be falsifiable. There is no way to prove that the output information was comprehended accurately. This is why God does not exist as anyone claiming to be in communication with God can not be falsified. It may be true but by that standard, anything may be true. If the goal is to arrive at the truth then one must be able to rule out impossibilities.
So...
How would a person convince another person they were not conscious? Other than passing out.
Two men enter a room and sit down opposite to each other. The room is well lit but not too bright. There is a table in between the men and there is a small spread of cheese snacks. Each man has their own water bottle and one man's job is to convince the other man that they are not conscious.
The second the other man starts to talk the first man will automatically assume they are conscious. The second the other man reaches for food the first man will assume he is conscious. He will assume that the similarity in physical appearance would necessitate a similarity in mental capacities. As they are both human the first man will project his humanity onto the second man who is not doing a good job of convincing the first man that he is not conscious.
I suppose the second man could never communicate with the first man. Even if the first man yells at him. By never acknowledging them and not moving at all then the person would have little to base their assumptions about the man. At some point, a real human would become fatigued with time and at some point would falter which would give away information to the first man who would start to assume the second man is in fact a person.
This dumb scenario illustrates how agency is connected to consciousness. Out notion that consciousness exists is linked to the ability to act.
If this is true then a brain in a vat can not be conscious. I am not sure this is true. Is a brain in a vat able to make changes to its own brain? Can thoughts cause a change in neural structures? If so then a brain is capable of engaging in the only actions it can. Thought. If it can think about its own existence in an accurate enough way then maybe it can adapt to its surroundings. If a scientist were to measure the brain every day and track its changes and determine that the changes were not random but were in some way positively adaptative then the scientist could say that the brain in the vat is potentially conscious. Because it cannot communicate to the outside world it can not be fully determined whether it was conscious or not.
I think that for there to be certainty regarding the assignment of consciousness to an entity the entity has to be able to communicate with the outside world. This may be false but I'm not sure how else one would ascribe consciousness to something else.
One of the primary ways that consciousness is accepted is by the simple declaration of its existence from an individual. People say they are conscious but is that evidence? I am not sure it is. If just exclaiming things was proof then the justice system would be very easy to administrate.
How would I prove that you were conscious? How would you prove you were conscious?
Do we know of consciousness only by appealing to the similarities in descriptions of subjective experiences? As in it is only through communicating concepts that are comprehended by others does one identify the nature of consciousness. Therefore consciousness only exists with some form of communication. Whether it is internal communication or external communication there has to be some form of information transfer in order to assign consciousness.
This means that the brain in the vat may be conscious as it is possible to be internally communicative and not externally but it isn't possible to communicate your own internal experiences without externally communicating. The brain in the vat needs to come up with a way to project thoughts outward.
What about the role of intention in consciousness? Do we assume we are conscious because we have intentions that we work toward making happen? Maybe we misattribute success to our intentions when it is actually a coincidence and we are not in control of ourselves at all and any success is just a necessary outcome of determined pre-causes.
I would imagine that most people do not go around contemplating the nature of consciousness and this article would be of no value to them. Its value is not important anyway as this article is an exercise in thinking about a topic.
Thursday, July 9, 2020
Lessons From the SoulsBourne Games
Soulsbourne is the term we players use to describe the From Software games that include Demon Souls, all Dark Souls games, and Bloodbourne.
Years later I played Dark Souls 2. This was when my appreciation for the game blossomed. Many believe that Dark Souls 1 is the best game in the series but that is probably because they started with it but I started with Dark Souls 2. While it is insanely difficult for a person unaccustomed to the unforgiving gauntlet that these games offer it was not as bad as Demon Souls and I think that Dark Souls 2 was a good game for me to dip my toes into. I dipped my toes hard!
Dark Souls 2 is like Dark Souls 1 but with the familiar level design of a more common style of third-person RPG. One can more easily wrap their head around the environment and there was plenty of space to run back, forward, or around. The maps are more expansive and linear making the experience more about the travel than the maze that the previous games were designed around.
I remember spending hours getting high and smoking cigarettes playing Dark Souls 2. I had the collector's edition guide book and bought all the add on downloadable content (DLC). It was the first game I spent more time playing than the Elder Scroll's games. I can still remember some of the areas and I could probably make my way through it pretty easily nowadays. Dark Souls 2 popped my cherry and in a big way. I remember when I got to the point that I could easily kill the Pursuer boss at the beginning of the game which made me feel that I had overcome a great challenge. I probably died hundreds of times to that son of a bitch and I finally learned that the key was to watch and learn its moves. To learn the precursor signs to each move and see it coming. Mostly it was about staying on the right side, moving forward when it attacked and hitting it in the back once and repeating the dance many more times.
Then Bloodborne came out and it was such a beautiful adaptation of the idea and it was when I started to appreciate the Miyazaki touch. The level design in Bloodbourne is not like Dark Souls 2. It takes place in a decrepit Victorian era nightmare with urban landscapes. The monsters come from the perversion of human blood, of course, and the levels are intricate and three dimensional. The player weaves their way around vertical and interlocking city streets and sewers. Areas are connected by long ladders and locked doors, which is just like Dark Souls 1 but I didn't know it at the time. The look was so polished and creative compared to Dark Souls 2. The graphics and frame rate were better as well making it a faster and smoother experience. The DLC was amazing and it was not hard to get completely wrapped up in it.
Dark Souls 3 was also an amazing entry in the series. All the benefits of the original director, Miyazaki, along with all the benefits of a higher budget, better software, and better hardware. It brought back a lot of what people liked in both Dark Souls 1 and 2 and added a ton of lore and new challenges. The customization and variety of items to manipulate was nearly perfect and it took a long time to become bored with it and even later I have come back to it a few times to find that it steals my attention every time.
Sekiro was not a disappointment but it also didn't hold my attention. The art and general gameplay are great but it was underdeveloped in my opinion. It needed more variety of character-driven accouterment. More customization. More diversity in animations for stealth actions. More clothes, weapons, armor, and larger environments. I think that the inevitable sequel will be amazing. Hopefully, it will take advantage of the fast-paced actions and vertically driven movement in a way that doesn't feel so cramped and forced. Maybe open the world up a little more. Also, if you are going to make a game about a specific character then the story has to be awesome. Traditionally the SoulsBourne games have had vague stories where the backstory of the player was inconsequential. You are a nameless adventurer out for treasure and power but in Sekiro you're a named ninja fucking up the status quo but the story just wasn't there for me.
After playing Dark Souls 3 again and being of a more mature mindset I realized that the game offers a kind of medication for me. I play it with the goal of controlling my emotions. No matter how many times I die or make a mistake I try not to care about the failures. I makeup goals for myself and try to accomplish them. I try to enjoy the game without becoming obsessed with it. I have put enough hours into it that I know the system pretty well. Well enough to know how to get where I'm going and do what I want. Dark Souls 3 offers a brutal world and in so doing it offers an opportunity to learn. To adapt. To challenge the mind and body to work together. Through repetition and knowledge, the game hones you. You either adapt or quit, there is no in-between.
The following is an enumeration of some of the personal, cognitive, and philosophical lessons I have learned from playing the SoulsBourne games.
Patience
The Soulsbourne games do not force you to be patient or to rush in. You can stand in one spot for all eternity as far as the game is concerned or you can try to run your way through the level. A young man is like a young character in the game. A young man might be so eager and self-assured as to rush into a dangerous situation and unwittingly pay a heavy price. This is why patience becomes a virtue. As in the games and in life the universe is not designed to accommodate one style. There are certain parts where patience is the best tactic and if you can truly master the balance between patience and action you will stop being surprised by your own failures.
Learning takes time. This is a lesson I am applying to my new love of music. In the past two years, I have started learning how to read, play, and make music. It has been a slow process and I am not good at any of the instruments I attempt to play, but the advancements and rewards are far beyond what a video game can offer. If you think Dark Souls is hard try playing the violin. It is very difficult and I have been very frustrated with it but I know that accomplishing something difficult takes time and practice. Patience is key.
Learning takes time. This is a lesson I am applying to my new love of music. In the past two years, I have started learning how to read, play, and make music. It has been a slow process and I am not good at any of the instruments I attempt to play, but the advancements and rewards are far beyond what a video game can offer. If you think Dark Souls is hard try playing the violin. It is very difficult and I have been very frustrated with it but I know that accomplishing something difficult takes time and practice. Patience is key.
Awareness
Whether it's getting hit by an arrow you didn't see coming or finding yourself falling off a cliff into an endless abyss, you need to pay attention. The environment is not there to keep you safe. It is designed to kill you. It is designed to make you think twice about whether you can jump to that other ledge or jump down thirty feet to the shiny object you desire. Nearly every treasure's bounty is tempered by potential danger and traps lay everywhere. Check your six, check your corners, and sometimes running back is the best way to keep moving forward. Or you can try to run past all the enemies and seek shelter somewhere.
Running past enemies in Dark Souls is like ignoring negative people in life. This can be a good strategy as they will only waste your time so not giving them your attention is just a step closer to doing something you enjoy or that will make you better. Sometimes dysfunctional people are hard to ignore, especially if they are in your family. Not that you can simply ignore everyone around you such as family or coworkers. Sometimes you just have to tolerate them and try not to get sucked up into their negativity. It's like watching a cutscene in SoulsBourne games except in life the only way to skip the monologue is by being rude or being perceived as rude by the boring-ass or negative person.
Fighting enemies one by one in Dark Souls is like facing what gets in your own way. Dysfunctional people and internal demons are the enemies to success in life and if you can face them it is risky and you might lose something but afterward, they are no longer a threat to your continuing pursuits. You can move toward the rewards that await beyond the things that get in your way. Whether you decide to ignore the haters or face the demons pay attention to your environment and yourself.
Running past enemies in Dark Souls is like ignoring negative people in life. This can be a good strategy as they will only waste your time so not giving them your attention is just a step closer to doing something you enjoy or that will make you better. Sometimes dysfunctional people are hard to ignore, especially if they are in your family. Not that you can simply ignore everyone around you such as family or coworkers. Sometimes you just have to tolerate them and try not to get sucked up into their negativity. It's like watching a cutscene in SoulsBourne games except in life the only way to skip the monologue is by being rude or being perceived as rude by the boring-ass or negative person.
Fighting enemies one by one in Dark Souls is like facing what gets in your own way. Dysfunctional people and internal demons are the enemies to success in life and if you can face them it is risky and you might lose something but afterward, they are no longer a threat to your continuing pursuits. You can move toward the rewards that await beyond the things that get in your way. Whether you decide to ignore the haters or face the demons pay attention to your environment and yourself.
Personal Limits
Learning takes time and it often feels like you're not ready for the challenge ahead. Remember that failure is an opportunity to evaluate your situation and take steps to overcome the challenge. This is a good time to seek guidance from those that have gone before you. It is also a good time to slow down and look for new routes. There might be an opportunity you have missed that will make your journey easier. Look inward to find the source of the failure. I find that it mostly comes down to two factors: ignorance and emotional imbalance. Not knowing enough about the problem is solvable through analysis and experimentation and emotional imbalance is solved through self-reflection and discipline. Putting your ego aside for a moment and being honest about your limitations can help clarify the problems you face and allow you to take steps to solve them.
Also, sometimes you're just tired and can't think straight and you just need to sleep and try again tomorrow.
Also, sometimes you're just tired and can't think straight and you just need to sleep and try again tomorrow.
Competition
The multiplayer style in Soulsbourne games is unique in that game worlds are invaded by other real players who can hunt you down and kill you. There are people who just do this. They play the game long enough to create a character that is optimized for a certain playstyle and then they just invade games in hopes of killing other players that are trying to make their way through treacherous environments. This offers a challenge that mirrors the chaos of the real world. Sometimes challenges don't have rewards other than to overcome them. The reward is in the struggle. It hones your skills and humbles you. It can be frustrating but it is the cost of engaging with the world.
In life as in SoulsBourne games, there are enemies and they may be smarter than you, they may be stronger than you and you may not be able to run away. Enemies in the games can be like demons chasing you down just for the pleasure of ruining your day just like the demons that chase you and follow you in your mind. You can choose to ignore your problems by running away and hiding or you can face your demons before they manipulate you and take away your freedom. Like when you die and lose all your souls or you were about to get to the boss and you fall off a ledge trying to run away from a gank squad. Or in life when you realize that many people in your life use you as a dumping ground for their negative emotions and hostility; and now you have to tell some of them to fuck off. It's a competition of wills. Like when a boss asks you to do an impossible thing just to see you fail. Although, I suppose they do this is the military to test how someone acts in a desperate situation. So, if the boss does this for purely experimental reasons and makes that clear to the team ahead of time then I suppose that would be potentially acceptable in a non-military setting. But I digress...
To utilize a cliche, the real enemy is yourself and the real competition is against your own ignorance and fear. You fear that your ego will be shattered when others discover your ineptitude and you will be shamed when the truth comes out. Don't be afraid of the truth and fuck your ego.
To utilize a cliche, the real enemy is yourself and the real competition is against your own ignorance and fear. You fear that your ego will be shattered when others discover your ineptitude and you will be shamed when the truth comes out. Don't be afraid of the truth and fuck your ego.
Cooperation
While there are some challenges you must face alone there are also friends all around you that want to help where they can. All you have to do is ask. Reach out to others and they will be there. The world might be lonely and terrifying but you aren't the first to face it and there are resources to help you on your journey. Seeking the wisdom of others can be the key to moving forward and sometimes you just need to even out the odds with a partner. No one can do it for you but your friends can help you along the way.
Reward
Around every corner, there is the potential to acquire the resources you need to make your journey more agreeable. Souls and Blood Echoes are the currency in these games and allow you to upgrade your character, upgrade your weapons, and buy needed materials. If you are patient you can get enough of these items easily enough. You can grind by killing the same lower-level bad guys over and over again or you can take on harder enemies to get more resources but with a higher risk level. It is all about risk management. The lower the risk the lower the reward. Just like life, typically at least. If you want to get the highest rewards and really feel an achievement you have to progress through the levels and make your way to the hardest challenges.
It is only with perseverance, discipline, and creativity that you will acquire the most valuable treasures. It will not be easy but it will be worth it. There is nothing more exciting than finally defeating a difficult boss after making 30 attempts in a Soulsbourne game. With each attempt, you learn something new about your foe and get closer to winning. It can break you if you let it or you can check your ego at the fog gate and continue adapting. More than just the financial reward is the reward of the continuation of the journey. Enemies get in your way and only through their defeat can you make your way to the next challenge and the next reward. The story can either continue or you can quit.
The real lesson I have learned from playing these games is that the real enemy is within myself. It is my own ignorance, egotism, and emotional imbalance that become hindrances to my success. In the process of learning something new, the ego is challenged by the reality of my own incompetence but there are rewards on the other side of the discomfort. Pushing through the frustration of attempting something new has allowed me to learn new skills in my life such as learning to be a better employee, playing pool, shooting guns, exercising, writing, photography, and recently learning to play music. These things require self-discipline and self-awareness and while the learning never ends the process is what matters. I don't want to get to the end of the story I just want to continue on a path I can be proud of.
Success requires a certain mastery over emotional extremes that can get in the way of seeing a situation clearly and working past the negativity and fear. The Soulsbourne games offer an opportunity to detach from emotions and work rationally. Working toward detaching from the egotistical desire to be perfect is an important exercise in controlling consciousness. If the goal is to reach a reward that requires rational cognitive resources then emotional distractions are an impediment. The time for emotions is in celebrating success, not ruminating on failures.
It is only with perseverance, discipline, and creativity that you will acquire the most valuable treasures. It will not be easy but it will be worth it. There is nothing more exciting than finally defeating a difficult boss after making 30 attempts in a Soulsbourne game. With each attempt, you learn something new about your foe and get closer to winning. It can break you if you let it or you can check your ego at the fog gate and continue adapting. More than just the financial reward is the reward of the continuation of the journey. Enemies get in your way and only through their defeat can you make your way to the next challenge and the next reward. The story can either continue or you can quit.
In Conclusion:
The real lesson I have learned from playing these games is that the real enemy is within myself. It is my own ignorance, egotism, and emotional imbalance that become hindrances to my success. In the process of learning something new, the ego is challenged by the reality of my own incompetence but there are rewards on the other side of the discomfort. Pushing through the frustration of attempting something new has allowed me to learn new skills in my life such as learning to be a better employee, playing pool, shooting guns, exercising, writing, photography, and recently learning to play music. These things require self-discipline and self-awareness and while the learning never ends the process is what matters. I don't want to get to the end of the story I just want to continue on a path I can be proud of.
Success requires a certain mastery over emotional extremes that can get in the way of seeing a situation clearly and working past the negativity and fear. The Soulsbourne games offer an opportunity to detach from emotions and work rationally. Working toward detaching from the egotistical desire to be perfect is an important exercise in controlling consciousness. If the goal is to reach a reward that requires rational cognitive resources then emotional distractions are an impediment. The time for emotions is in celebrating success, not ruminating on failures.
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