Shot with Canon 80D and 100mm 2.8 Macro Lens
Portland, Oregon
Follow me on Instagram @g_grins and @fractalfocus.nature
Click to Enlarge
Monday, January 27, 2020
Saturday, January 25, 2020
Photo Journal 1/25/2020
Shooting and testing out friend's new Rubicon.
Oregon
Follow me on Instagram @g_grins and @fractalfocus.nature
Click to Enlarge
Tuesday, January 21, 2020
Legitimacy Through Fame?
I have a deep fear that I will die and there will be nothing left of me to live on. Something that might impact and affect future humans in a way that validates some of the things I've accomplished.
I can imagine a world where I am known and well regarded. A world where my personal impression lives on after I die, like the many famous people that I know and continue to learn about after their deaths. Ideally, I would die having made an impact on the world and in so doing give myself a modicum of infamy.
I am just realizing that this ideation is most likely the result of a lifetime among televisions. There have always been famous people. Aristocrats, actors, musicians, royals, politicians, clergymen, military heroes, and the like have always existed in large enough agricultural societies. Even without agriculture, tribal peoples would tell stories of heroes and gods and spirits that one would look up to.
While all these people represent some kind of transcendence from the poor, infirm or otherwise lowly existence that the majority inhabit, these roles were not typically within the reach of the masses. Children in the 17th century were not hopeful that they would become anything other than something close to what their father did. They might have wondered at stories of heroes and gods but were not subjected to the mundane infamy of the modern world.
Today, the world's opinions are on display for the world. Experts and novices teaching beside each other and with no oversight. Crazies and geniuses and everyone in between showing us "what they've got!" "Cash me outside," has left its mark on the world and it is hard not to feel that if someone as low as those that are featured on Jerry Springer or Maury Povich are making their marks in some small ways. If we consider anyone who is online socially as capable of generating fame then fame itself is a measure of potential infamy. Extended fame is really the goal of online expression because if your mark lasts then it is assumed that your mark is meaningful.
The future of education had better include how to use the internet to your advantage or else people will be swallowed up in its web of influence and exploitation. It can also be a comforting couch of convenience and decadence. Everything at your hand and your whole life stuck in the world as a set of profiles and visual media.
But what about the futility of fame? In time all information is degraded and eventually lost then why is it so appealing? I think it is related to the initial need for procreation. Fame's appeal is the same appeal that comes to the deep desire to have our genes live on in our progeny. More specifically it is intertwined with the need to stand out and ascend in a hierarchy where the higher the status the more likely the individual will successfully mate and see their offspring live on. So, it all comes down to sex, like so many behaviors.
The future of education had better include how to use the internet to your advantage or else people will be swallowed up in its web of influence and exploitation. It can also be a comforting couch of convenience and decadence. Everything at your hand and your whole life stuck in the world as a set of profiles and visual media.
But what about the futility of fame? In time all information is degraded and eventually lost then why is it so appealing? I think it is related to the initial need for procreation. Fame's appeal is the same appeal that comes to the deep desire to have our genes live on in our progeny. More specifically it is intertwined with the need to stand out and ascend in a hierarchy where the higher the status the more likely the individual will successfully mate and see their offspring live on. So, it all comes down to sex, like so many behaviors.
For one that prides themself on their ability to express themself, it seems like a failure to not do so publicly. To show one's self to the world is a badge of honor and to show up in a trending list means the eyes of the world are upon you. For good or bad you have been seen. Like in Avatar, we just want to be seen. I just want to be seen. To be seen and appreciated. To be validated by the world. For the world to look at you and give you an uplifting nod.
The need for attention comes from at least two areas, cultural influences and a lack of bonding with parents. I do not want to blame all parents as for some the need for attention can never be satiated, not even by those with well adjusted and affectionate parents. I do not believe myself to be within that camp but I do not care to blame anyone for my self diagnosed issues in a perhaps failed attempt at self psychoanalysis. My need for attention might just be due to my lack of identifying a mainstream vocation that I find satisfying and therefore must look to other means for purpose, namely expressing myself and hoping that someone finds it valuable or at the least interesting.
I do think that the greater one's desire for fame the greater their need for validation. This may be due to a lack of acceptance and validation from childhood or it could be due to a predisposition toward narcissism or any number of things.
Living in a culture where thousands and thousands of people make a living expressing their opinions on the internet makes it seem like if your not making a living expressing yourself you're working too hard and are just another "cog" in the wheel.
I have no children. I have no real money.
The only reason to feel bad about these facts is that I have a desire for these things. I am not sure which one I want more but I do know that some parts of me feel that children and money are a necessary part of seeing myself as an actualized person. I have manufactured a typical American fantasy despite the fact that my parents failed to represent but somehow has been engrained as a norm. Although they both do have a decent amount of money. At least they do now.
My father never made much money on his own and I know that a great deal of my desire for money has to do with my desire to not be like my father but he did marry two women who have been able to acquire quite a lot of money respectively. In fact his current wife, not my mother, probably makes more money than his second wife, meaning that he traded up in a completely lame and unplanned way. Hopefully unplanned.
If you haven't done something notable enough to make some local media feature or participated in a viral video or gained enough subscribers to exist as an independent contractor then you aren't that interesting. If you aren't interesting then what's the point?
Maybe these are the worries of someone whose life is too easy to warrant any real discomfort or discipline. Maybe this is a cultural impression that I am simply orienting myself to. Maybe it is simply pride and narcissism that I engage in and should work toward feeling contentment in the simple act of existence and stop seeking fame for the sake of superficial attention. Maybe the monk that seeks enlightenment from a lack of desire is on the road toward enlightenment. I doubt it. I think the real answer is acceptance and balance.
In the creation of expressive art, one should start with themselves and the personal expression and then see what happens when they share such things. If it is meaningful to the self then it might resonate and find value in others. The real key is not putting the cart before the horse, putting the desire for validation before the expression. The idea that fame creates legitimacy is erroneous and simplistic. No one is legitimate or illegitimate. Value is subjective which means that it depends on the evaluator. Maybe a happy life is living based on one's internally generated values instead of trying to adapt to everyone else's idea of
This doesn't mean that one shouldn't cater to others for the sake of money or some other end. There are plenty of people who do not seek fame or validation through social interaction. People who exist with no desire to express themselves to the world and feel no malaise when the world doesn't care about them. Family, friends, work, and hobbies do not require an extended interaction with the outside world and hold deep meaning for those content with such activities. Maybe those that seek attention should remember not to neglect the simple satisfactions that accrue when one attends to those around them.
There is also a kind of dual outcome to fame which is when the endeavors that result in fame are originally intended to help others. This might be in the realms of education, innovation and personal expression of all sorts. The idea that one's public expressions are put out into the world for the sake of others. This is both selfish and selfless. Someone has to have some sense of self-worth and confidence to think that they have something to offer others and this desire, while seemingly noble, has the added bonus of attracting attention and potential fame. It is the most righteous fame because it hides behind the selfless deed and makes one a kind of saint but it should not be forgotten that those that seek to help others often know that the result may be that of acclaim.
This is not a bad thing in that if there were no positive results from helping other people would have little incentive to do so and therefor those that help others should be given public acclaim. This is really only useful if the public knows the difference between what provides actual help and what acts are designed to give the impression of selflessness. The real challenge to audiences, in a world of infinite choices, is to not waste attention on worthless or deceitful people or to call them out. Now, this requires a certain amount of intelligence and control and ultimately up to the individual based on their subjective values and knowledge.
Maturing is more a matter of accepting yourself instead of fighting self-imposed and needless idealism. Instead of constantly judging myself against the achievements of others I should simply continue working on doing what makes me feel fulfilled, meaningful and happy.
In the creation of expressive art, one should start with themselves and the personal expression and then see what happens when they share such things. If it is meaningful to the self then it might resonate and find value in others. The real key is not putting the cart before the horse, putting the desire for validation before the expression. The idea that fame creates legitimacy is erroneous and simplistic. No one is legitimate or illegitimate. Value is subjective which means that it depends on the evaluator. Maybe a happy life is living based on one's internally generated values instead of trying to adapt to everyone else's idea of
This doesn't mean that one shouldn't cater to others for the sake of money or some other end. There are plenty of people who do not seek fame or validation through social interaction. People who exist with no desire to express themselves to the world and feel no malaise when the world doesn't care about them. Family, friends, work, and hobbies do not require an extended interaction with the outside world and hold deep meaning for those content with such activities. Maybe those that seek attention should remember not to neglect the simple satisfactions that accrue when one attends to those around them.
There is also a kind of dual outcome to fame which is when the endeavors that result in fame are originally intended to help others. This might be in the realms of education, innovation and personal expression of all sorts. The idea that one's public expressions are put out into the world for the sake of others. This is both selfish and selfless. Someone has to have some sense of self-worth and confidence to think that they have something to offer others and this desire, while seemingly noble, has the added bonus of attracting attention and potential fame. It is the most righteous fame because it hides behind the selfless deed and makes one a kind of saint but it should not be forgotten that those that seek to help others often know that the result may be that of acclaim.
This is not a bad thing in that if there were no positive results from helping other people would have little incentive to do so and therefor those that help others should be given public acclaim. This is really only useful if the public knows the difference between what provides actual help and what acts are designed to give the impression of selflessness. The real challenge to audiences, in a world of infinite choices, is to not waste attention on worthless or deceitful people or to call them out. Now, this requires a certain amount of intelligence and control and ultimately up to the individual based on their subjective values and knowledge.
Maturing is more a matter of accepting yourself instead of fighting self-imposed and needless idealism. Instead of constantly judging myself against the achievements of others I should simply continue working on doing what makes me feel fulfilled, meaningful and happy.
Saturday, January 11, 2020
Book Review: Touching the Void by Joe Simpson
I was over at my brother's house last week and while waiting for some laundry we both sat reading. He was reading my copy of Larry McMurtry's Lonesome Dove and I decided to grab a book he had on the shelf and I just happened to pick the book that this review is about. I did not realize what I was getting myself into when I picked it up but two chapters later I was already hooked. I took it home and couldn't stop reading.
Touching the Void by Joe Simpson is the true story about Joe Simpson and Simon Yates on their trip to the Peruvian Mountains in 1985 to climb the Siula Grande summit. After acclimatizing themselves to the high altitude at a base camp they made their way past lakes, moraines, a glacier and then up ice-cliffs, snow slopes, massive icicles and nearly impossible ridges where thousands of feet lay over the edge. Spoiler alert! They make it to the summit but all the trouble starts on the descent back down when Joe suddenly falls and breaks his leg. This would normally be a death sentence for a climber in that environment but what happens next is the most intense writing I have ever read.
Joe Simpson is an experienced climber and takes the reader into the world of extreme mountaineering with a level of detail that only comes from someone who has been there and done that. Along with the specificity of the industry-specific language, Joe creates an intimate connection with the reader by revealing his innermost thoughts and emotions and his love of the sport and the environment is apparent as he describes the ups and downs of the ordeal. Even without knowing all the terms the book is easy to read and hard to put down with its beautiful prose.
I have never read a book that elicited such emotions as this book. My heart raced as I read about their climb up treacherous mountainsides. I felt anxious when Joe and Simon dealt with the uncertainty of the sudden emergency of Joe breaking his leg. I became depressed and withdrawn as Joe struggled with internal and external tribulations and I wept when Joe finally makes it out. The fact that I knew that Joe would survive took nothing away from the emotional impact of the story and knowing it is a true story made it all the more impactful. Being written by the man who experienced it gives the book that much more punch. It is a must-read in my mind and I recommend it heartily to anyone interested in seeing what the human will is capable of.
I haven't seen the movie but I found this Youtube of it. Honestly, I need a break from this content before diving back in to watch the movie, which I assume is a good adaptation. I would recommend reading the book first.
Saturday, January 4, 2020
Book Review: Congo by Michael Crichton
Congo is a science fiction novel written by Michael Crichton, the writer of the book Jurrasic park, that takes place primarily in the African jungle in the Congo region. It is written in an almost journalistic way taking the reader through different stages of the plot by breaking down dates, events and geographic locations into chapter sections. All along the way, historical and technological tangents are taken in an effort to create context and intrigue as to what surrounds the interactions that occur in the plot. Fictional accounts of previous expeditions to the Congo indicate the lack of successful attempts to study the region as well as the mysterious nature of its potential resources that might be used for the benefit of governmental interests.
Crichton weaves a tale that bulges with detail allowing the reader to become immersed in two distinct worlds. The first world is the world of international competition related to technological advancement and the discovery and utilization of natural resources. Whether the histories offered by the author hover closer or farther from the truth the reader is given a manifest of contextual information regarding the state of technological advancements during the late 1970s in the worlds of computing, communications and weapons tech. We learn about the state of the art technologies that for the time would have seemed like far fetched sci-fi fiction but are now, in 2020, fairly accurate predictions of current and even surpassed realities.
The second world that the author creatively elaborates on is the world of non-human language acquisition in the form of Amy the gorilla. Amy is a fictionalized version of other primates that scientists have tried to teach language to and more directly mirrors the actual gorilla Koko, which was a well-known gorilla that successfully learned American Sign Language from an animal psychologist named Francine Patterson. Koko and Patterson become famous in the late 1970s and Crichton takes their story and runs with it. Amy, the signing gorilla in the book, is cared for by Peter Elliot who takes the risk of joining a team put together by the Earth Resources Technology Services (ERTS) corporation in hopes of finding the place where Amy was born while the ERTS team is in the search for rare diamonds in the Congo.
This is where the two worlds meet and Peter Elliot and Amy the gorilla find out that the company they just got involved with isn't exactly what they seem. They didn't know that the previous team sent to Congo, just a week before their expedition, was mysteriously murdered. They also didn't realize that they would be going into a war-torn African area where they had little to no support. Also, there is a volcano right next to their destination that seems like it might be ready to explode but, with the headstrong Karen Ross from the ERTS team and Munro the quick-witted travel guide/mercenary they make their way to the treacherous jungle in search of fortune and gorilla related answers.
The book is very fun and full of action and adventure. It was also adapted to the silver screen in the 1995 movie by the same name. I remember the movie being very fun as well, if not a little cheesy, especially compared to today's movies. I recommend this book to anyone that wants a fast-paced jungle adventure with little in the way of subtext or deep philosophical complexities. It is a fun romp into a semi-realistic world that entices the imagination and keeps the reader on the edge of their seat until the end.
P.S. My favorite character was Amy the gorilla.
P.S. My favorite character was Amy the gorilla.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)