Photo Journal 7/30/2018

Glendoveer Path, Oregon

Shot on Canon 80D with 24-105mm and 50mm 1.4 w/extension tubes

Edit with Photoscape X Pro (Free Version)

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You're Not In Control

The modern world is full of communication channels and with everyone expressing their opinions it seems that everyone knows best. Along with their criticisms comes their prescriptions for others. So much of the internet is just people telling other people how to think, how to live and how to vote and I find it to be overwhelming pretentious, self-righteous and annoying.

I'm not sure why everyone wants to control everyone else. Ok, that's not true. I get that everyone is power hungry but why are they so confident? They speak with such certainty and aggression it is as if they think that if everyone just did as they said the world would be perfect. This sounds like an overbearing parent to me. Maybe those who demand subjugation are reenacting their perception of moral nurturing. In demanding others adhere to their ethical framework they are telling others they care and want the world to be better but since their only model for teaching such methods is through demands they bark orders instead of negotiating toward a solution.

This applies more obviously to those that lobby the state to enact their brand of justice. Many hold the government as the ultimate in paternal enforcement and moral justice and it is reasonable to think this way as the government does have the power to take, punish and demand but for those that do not accept that these means are justified, the government is merely a group of control freaks trying to tell us what to do. What is curious is how everyone seems to think that they are in control of others and while many comply with the will of others it is not because the demander is in control.

I think we are only as free as our ability to choose but we are not infinitely free. Nor are we infinitely oppressed. We long for freedom and find those that impede it an enemy. It seems that given enough time humans tend to rebel and fight oppression. I suppose that those that wish to fight the power structure require the means to fight and the alternative has to be worse than fighting so some choose comfort and stability over revolt. This seems true in North Korea, although I am not sure if a significant proportion of their population actually believes they are being oppressed. They might be brainwashed into thinking they are free or at least protected, loved or otherwise part of a meaningful group.

But if the people of North Korea decided to band together and fight their "Great Leader", Kim Jong Un would find that he is not in control anymore. And if someone from inside his own party decided to assassinate him he would find that he is not in control. If he were to get cancer and die he would find that he is not in control. We are not in control of much it seems.

We humans can barely take credit for controlling ourselves but somehow so many think they deserve to control others. We should not be so quick to offer our cure for the world's troubles. Instead, we should focus on our immediate environment, make that better and then work outward. This does not mean we should not act to help others or create change but it does mean we should not be attempting to control others through megalomaniacal demands, force, or shame. We should be humble and honest about our lack of understanding about humanity and about what is best.

I would prefer to think of the Freedom From perspective. This means that I want to be free from others' oppression and impediments. Freedom of association and participation means not being forced to be on someone's team or contribute to someone else's notion of morality. Freedom from laws that force me to go against my beliefs about what is right and wrong. It also means taking responsibility to deal with the consequences of my associations and actions that affect others. I don't believe we should be seeking Freedoms To do whatever it is we want or make others act in a way we want.

I realize that I am prescribing what people "should" do in this while criticising those who do the same but I think that what I want to do is highlight the difference between trying to influence thought and trying to control behavior. Those who try the quick route of influence via force and coercion are adding tyranny to the world while those that use words and ideas to influence are introducing alternatives that can be disregarded or adopted based on its value and accuracy.

Photo Journal 7/25/2018

Vista House, Latourell Falls, and Bridal Veil Falls Oregon

Edited with PhotoScape X Pro (Free Version)

Shot on Canon 80D w/ 24-105mm and 14-24mm

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Smiling: A Retail Perspective

This is not attractive

This is me relaxed

I suffer from permanent bitch face. I look serious and mildly annoyed when my face is at rest. A few weeks ago I decided to make a conscious effort to smile more while at work. I never liked the idea of smiling for other people. The idea of pretending for the sake of other's comfort always seemed inauthentic and dishonest. I just told myself that I'm not a "bubbly" kind of person. I provide good customer service through expertise, not emotional positivity.


I decided to try an experiment though, not for others' sake, but for my own sake. To utilize smiling as a tool and the goal was to provide better customer service, attract people instead of repelling them, and to see what kind of effects a simple smile might produce. The effects were immediate.

The first step was to practice smiling in the mirror and when no one was around. I tried to think of something funny or pretending that I just heard a joke. This technique works very well. Instead of just looking like I'm squinting or grimacing or trying too hard. By smiling with the eyes and just a little bit of an upward grin creates a subtle and convincing smile.

After beginning to employ this new tool I found immediate results. It doesn't seem like it should be surprising but I was genuinely surprised that when I was smiling and someone looked at me it seemed that most people couldn't help but smile back. If I added a bit of eyebrow raise they couldn't help but engage with me as I approached them asking if they needed any help.

My interactions started off positive instead of neutral or dismissive. Even if someone wasn't particularly excited to interact they usually would put on a quick fake smile and politely say no thanks. There are still those that do not care much about interacting regardless of a positive face but the vast majority of people respond in a positive way to someone smiling and looking happy to help.

The second thing I noticed was more subtle but undeniable. The words that came out of my mouth while I was smiling sounded happier and more enthusiastic. When I don't smile and simply ask someone if they need anything it just sounds like an unemotional statement but when I smiled the words took on a more upbeat tone and I think a slightly higher pitch. I think that this comes across less threatening and more approachable. This effect even works over the phone. Smiling while talking changes the inflection to a more positive expression.

This looks genuine and positive

Another positive effect is that the more I smile the more I become emotionally more positive. I have heard of this effect from somewhere before so it might be an expectation bias but it certainly seems to be true. Smiling on purpose and more often seems to have a feedback to the brain convincing it that things are better off making you genuinely happier. This makes sense in that when you do things that add to your sociability you attract more positivity and engage in better interactions with others. This is highly desirable for social creatures that depend on others for success and our biology seems to reinforce this behavior.

Another positive effect of smiling is creating a bit of positive attention from females. When I smile at females many of them smile back which reinforces confidence in my ability to interact with attractive women. I come across as more approachable and confident with women and because I sound more friendly the interactions are more personal.

Also, when employing a smile it seems easier to add jokes or personal stories as the entire interaction is more friendly. If the customer responds well to the smile then it allows them to be more personal and tell me what they need as well.

Too much and it looks sarcastic

After about a week of practicing this technique at work, I started to find myself smiling when I wasn't at work and I found that the same results took place. When I would just walk around a store smiling people would smile back. I think when a person gives eye contact with a smile it comes across as both confident and attractive. People wonder what you might be like or why you are happy. Positive people want to be around positive people and negative people secretly want to be positive so you represent a kind of ideal when you smile and display confidence with eye contact.


What I have learned after doing this is that you don't want to smile too much which is also true of eye contact. Too much smiling, especially if the topic turns serious comes across as disconnected or unempathetic. The same is true if the topic turns fun. If you don't smile when someone says something they think is funny you can come across as unemotional, dismissive and unempathetic.

This is not a cure-all for customer service interactions. Some customers do not care at all that you are happy and I imagine that some of them are annoyed that you are happy as they are not. Body language is a very powerful communication device and understanding the effects of different behaviors helps one get the results one wants from social interactions.

I am reminded now of a Ted Talk about body language about not being your authentic self (below). When your job is to interact with others coming across as unapproachable will not lead to positive results so consciously altering your body language might not be completely authentic but it is a form of self-control that can help you better get along with others and get better results in life.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1zpf8H_Dd40

Photo Journal 7/21/2018

Portland, Oregon

Shot with Canon DSLR with 50mm 1.4

Edited on PhotoScape X Pro (Free Version) 

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