Fear is Like a Balloon

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Fear is like a balloon.

Inflated by a mind consumed.

The skin fills until taught and thin.

Then it pops and the ghosts begin.

Frightened to death but not at once.

A scare to panic the noble dunce.

The deceit convincing enough to feel.

Although it's fake the ghosts are real.

Panic leads to a confused ideal.

Brandished swords made of broken steel.

A castle built on sand to be.

When forced to name the ghosts you see.

Control the mind to ease the flow.

To see the truth the mind must slow.

To rid ourselves of lies we knew.

Ghosts fade away to something true.

Book Review: Neil Gaiman's "The Graveyard Book"

I decided to buy Neil Gaiman's book entitled "The Graveyard Book" on the recommendation of Tim Ferris, a noted author, and podcaster. I had no idea what the book was about but I thought if Tim Ferris loved it so much it must be worth reading. The book sat in a drawer for quite some time before I got to it and I'm really glad I did. It is a wonderfully written and thoroughly engaging book.

The book is about a boy that grows up in and around a graveyard in what, I surmise, is a normal, modern-day English town. It is nearly impossible to talk about the book without giving something of the magic of the book away so I will try to describe it without revealing too much. Neil Gaiman masterfully blends supernatural elements in with a grounded tale of a young boy learning about the world and where he fits into it. With his parents gone he is taken in by an unlikely duo of dead do-gooders and a rugged but fair guardian.

In each chapter we learn more and more about the world the boy finds himself and about the dangers that await him outside the graveyard as well as some that lie within its gates. He meets historical figures and mythical creatures and all the while learns about the power of friendship and how complicated growing up can be. In the end, he finds himself taking on death itself and discovering the price one pays to do the right thing.

This book is a very fun read and has many great life lessons told in a way that a wide range of readers can enjoy. It creates subtle intrigue and exudes imagination that saturates the reader in a fantasy that is both unreal and instantly familiar. Neil Gaiman takes a fresh look at how boys become men and take the reader on an adventure through all the joys and pains that go along with that transition. I highly recommend this book, especially to young readers who have the courage to discover the world on their terms.

Try it out! Click here to buy it using my affiliate link. 

I was off today

01/29/2017 at 12:30 am

I was off today. I spent the day taking care of a few simple chores. I added my work schedule to the calendar that I share with my brother. Then I worked on filing my taxes via an online source. It was pretty straight forward with the exception of a couple items but they were insignificant to worry about. I filled it out the best I could with the information I had and it's done now. After that I went to Winco to get groceries and then I read for about an hour, passed out for half and hour and then read again for about a half an hour. Then, around 6:30, I took a quick trip to McDonald's to indulge in some sweet and savory treats. I ate too much but it's good to indulge sometimes.

After that we watched a couple of episodes of "Dexter". Then I did my laundry and now I'm watching "Breaking Bad". It was a relaxing day and somewhat productive. Tomorrow I start getting paid a little bit more from my, now, full time job.

It was a great photo shoot

01/28/2017 at 12 am

I went to work and ran around helping customers and talking to other employees. My boss offered me a promotion and I accepted. It goes in effect on Sunday. It will be good to make closer to what I used to and I'll get more hours. I need to make sure to make time for the business but having money to spend on the business will be good too. I can't really afford all my bills on the paycheck I got today so for the next couple weeks I will end up in the hole financially but not for long. My next paycheck and tax returns will help dig me out.

After work my brother and I went to a meeting with a friend of his at a local pub. It had an amazing sausage banger with possibly the best mustard on the side I have ever had. The restaurant is called Horse Brass Pub. Good atmosphere. Very "Portland", if that's a thing that makes sense. We chatted about working in the video production business and some of the considerations to have when starting from scratch to make something successful. It was a worthwhile conversation.

Then we came home and worked on getting photos narrowed down for our client. We watched some "Dexter" with the Misses and then finalized our photo picks and sent the client a link. 24 hour turnaround on a shit ton of photos is pretty good. Ended up with a lot of great photos. Here is one:

It was a great photo shoot. I'm not sure what could be more fun than hanging out with 50 dogs in the woods. I hope there is more of this kind of work in the future.

After that my brother and I watched an episode of "Bob Ross" and now this.

Today I woke up around 6 am

01/27/2017 at 12 am

Yesterday I got up and my brother picked me up to go to the bank. We spent about an hour and a half setting up business accounts for Fractal Focus. After that lunch and then I shipped something back to a client. After that I worked on business finances and personal finances and prepared for upcoming bills and taxes. Then my nephew and I played some Dark Souls 3. After that dinner, "Dexter" and started reading "Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep" by Phillip K. Dick. Then I went to bed and dreamt.

Today I woke up around 6 am, got dressed and headed out with my brother to meet a friend. Our friend drove us to a rural town nearby where we would be shooting photography for a company there. We played in the mud and shot photos of dogs for about two hours. It was a lot of fun and we got a lot of great pics. Here is one I like:

It's not the best photo but it is intense. The dogs were just playing. You can freeze interesting moments with a camera.

The photo shoot was a lot of fun and as soon as we got back we started going through the near 2,000 photos we took. We got it down to about 200 by the end of the day. We watched an episode of "Dexter" and now I'm watching "Breaking Bad" whilst writing this. I work tomorrow and then a dinner meeting with a friend of my brother's who does video work as well.

Some Thoughts on Planned Parenthood and Personal Responsibilty

01/25/2017 at 1230 am

I did a few things before work. I called the bank, did some dishes, ate some food, added something to the website, watched some TV. Mostly watched stuff about the rioting and woman's rally. I think that a lot of them want attention and social points. I am not sure what rights woman have lost in the past few months or years. At least as a whole. I'm sure some woman are doing well and some are not but I am not sure it is the government to blame solely for either case. I also do not know what President Trump can do to take rights away from all woman at once.

Discontinuing funding for certain programs like Planned Parenthood might be a good thing. Especially if it isn't effective, efficient or moral. My personal thoughts on abortion are complicated and I do not have a final word on it at the moment but I do know that a large amount of people think it is very, very immoral and don't want their money going toward this act. I do not think they should be forced to do so. But I also don't think anyone should be forced to do things that they find morally reprehensible when not doing it doesn't hurt anyone. If a woman gets pregnant, unless I had sex with her, it is not my responsibility. Or at least it shouldn't be. I shouldn't be forced to pay for abortions nor should I, or anyone else, be forced to pay for the child if the woman decides to have the baby. And I certainly shouldn't have to pay for the adult that arises from this.

Procreation is a responsibility and an obligation that people should not get into lightly or ignorantly but if they do it should not be put upon others. That does not mean that those people shouldn't be helped or that they should suffer. I believe that anyone can provide value, even if that value is simply friendship, which will compel others to help them. Charities have existed for a long time and a free market of charities could sustain the needy because the array of giving, when voluntary, could be vast.  An added benefit would come when people relying on the kindness of strangers would be compelled toward kindness in an effort to be taken care of.

So, are woman mad that some woman will have to pay for their own abortions? Or their own contraception? Condoms are cheap and if insurance companies don't offer female contraception, then that sucks and it would be great if they did. Regardless, it is still up to women and men to make sure they don't make babies if they can't take care of them. I also know that no matter what anyone thinks about abortion woman will get them. Woman have always found ways to abort fetuses and there are certainly cases where it makes medical sense. In a free market abortion clinics would probably exist and if people didn't like them they could make their arguments against it known and shop somewhere else.

Now, there might be an argument that easier access to abortions and contraception is good for the nation so far as it reduces unwanted children that will most likely end up in poverty. I think that it is hard to tell what the true rate of abortions would be if it were not subsidized and what effect that would have on the conception rate. People have always been having children they couldn't take care of and in the past some of them would die. Disease, childbirth, nature, infection, starvation and the like. This is not ideal and I'm sure it was hard on parents. I could see someone saying that force might be justified if it means that less people will suffer but I am not sure what the true cost of allowing force to be justified for these circumstances. This is another reason why people gave to charities and volunteered to help the needy, because they saw the suffering and wanted to help. When it is a local issue it seems to be easier to feel compassion and take action.

I also think that incentives and consequences matter to decision making. When the consequences of an action are reduced people, if already inclined, will continue or increase their rate of engaging in that action. When consequences are high people tend to engage less in them and ultimately every action has a consequence whether it gets passed around or distributed among many. Nothing is "free" in a personal sense or in a financial sense. We are limited by our biology and we are limited in our resources. Even the wealthy are limited by these things (less on the resources side, obviously).

My Thoughts on Sam Harris and Jordan B. Peterson's conversation on "Truth"

01/24/2017 at 12 am

Today I worked from 12:45 to 5pm at the retail job. I am becoming more comfortable there  with answering phones, getting items out of the back, helping customers with odd requests and things like that. After work I came home to my brother talking about a podcast where Sam Harris and Jordan B. Peterson have a 2 hour discussion about the meaning and application of the word truth. Sam believes that there are scientific facts that we call truths and Jordan believes that no matter the truth claim it must be put into a moral framework where it isn't "absolutely" true but merely "proximally" true. They go back and forth and I recommend listening to the entire thing if you like epistemology or semantics or you enjoy somewhat tedious philosophical conversations in general. You can watch the Youtube of it here.

My brother and I talked about what the word "true" means and how it isn't as simple as one might think. There are facts but facts can be overturned and what are the use of facts without a moral framework to guide where we search for and what we "should" do with facts. Is there an ultimate "truth" and if so how do we recognize it when we see it or can it truly be known at all? Jordan seemed to want to reserve the use of the word "truth" only for instances that can be argued that the consequence of that truth is beneficial to humans in a Darwinian or Pragmatic fashion. Sam seemed to be arguing that for the sake of conversation one has to grant a certain amount of "truth" to statements based on their scientific validity and accuracy and that it isn't necessary to look at every truth claim as a representation of a greater truth that can only be revealed by examination of the outcome toward humans. 

For example: 2 + 2 = 4. That is either true or false (or unknown) but it doesn't seem to require an examination of higher moral truths to accept and even if humans did not exist wouldn't this be true? Maybe not. Maybe it is impossible to examine any statement without presupposing that a human is involved in some stage of its conceptualization, from thinking it to communicating about it and so on.

For example: The dog is blue. This statement is either true or false (or unknown) and it does not contain any moral content at all. It isn't good or bad that the dog is or isn't blue. So if the dog is blue then a rational person should accept the statement "The dog is blue" is simply true. 

For example: It is immoral to steal. This is a moral statement and I think it is either true or false (or unknown) based on the moral framework that one uses to asses its validity. I think Sam would argue that there is a way to do this scientifically but I think he would also say that there may be holes in the scientific explanation that need to be filled in with reason, logic, and philosophy. He might also add that some subjective or "spiritual" considerations might be made in order to understand the statement's validity. What I gather from the podcast is that Jordan B. Peterson would say that the statement is either true or false based on whether or not it leads to an outcome that suits the survive-ability of the individual and the species. He might also say that this statement is void of context and therefore it is unrealistic to take it seriously as a case worth discussing. He might ask, "Who stole, why did they steal," or "what lead to them stealing" and such questions in order to assess the underlying truth of the statement and I don't think he is wrong to ask those questions. 

I think Jordan is right in not capitulating to Sam when Sam brings up thought experiments that require a lot of presuppositions and I think real world examples would probably have been more useful here but I also think Jordan knows what Sam means when Sam explains what he means by "true" in a scientific or fact based way. I also think that Jordan came into the conversation with a desire to explain his underlying basis for morality and to disabuse Sam of his "materialist" metaphysics but in getting bogged down in the analysis of one term (Truth) he was not able to fully express his arguments against materialism and the limitations of science. Especially the limitations of science to illuminate moral truths. 

I think that the word "truth" can have a few different meanings and sometimes, for the sake of conversation, we accept one meaning in order to both further the conversation and because the meaning behind the word is known by both parties. When Sam talks about smallpox he is talking about the scientific truth relating to biological facts but when Jordan hears Sam talk about smallpox he questions the truth that underlies why smallpox is being studied. Some of the confusion in the conversation, from my perspective, is the lack of consistency when Jordan agrees that some things are true but also claims that those truths may not "really" be true when one looks at the bigger picture. A picture that one may never have the opportunity to see. 

I think that they both are very intelligent and that the term they discussed for so long is actually a fairly complicated concept. I think that it would have been interesting to have them move onto another topic and see what happens when the word "true" comes up or they might have agreed to try not using the term until they can agree on it's proper use for the purpose of their current conversation. Then they would have been forced to use other terms like "scientific fact" or "empirical fact" or "evil" instead of using true. No matter what they end up talking about I hope they talk more and put it out to the world for me to listen to. I hope it starts good conversations and leads to even better arguments. 

These are not all my thoughts but they certainly are some of them. 

Now I'm about to pass out

01/23/2017 at 1 am

Today I went to work. Then I went to my mom's house for dinner with everyone. Then, I came home and watched "Dexter". Then, I played BF1 for about an hour. Now I'm about to pass out. Not much happening today. We did send an invoice to a client so we can get paid. That is good. We have a photo shoot this week and I might get a raise at my part time gig, which might turn into a full time gig. I need to make sure I don't get wrapped up in the part time job and neglect the full time business of starting a business. I put more into the part time job than I need to but I want everyone to think I'm a hard worker and I like doing a good job for others. I like being helpful. I suppose that isn't a bad thing.

My aunt is in town

01/22/2017 at 1 am

Today started with a look at the bruised eyelid and finding that the swelling had gone down but the bruising had spread a bit. Not too worrisome and I think it is healing well. Then I got a text from my friend Channing that he would be in town in a couple of hours and we should meet up. His wife and he were going to see Louis CK live in downtown Portland this evening but had a few hours to hang out. We were going to go to the zoo but it closed early and it was raining like crazy so we decided to go to OMSI. The featured exhibit was closed so we only got to see all the kids playing with educational modules. But we got a chance to catch up and hang out and it was quite enjoyable. He signed my copy of his book and left a lovely note for me.

Then they dropped me home and I hung out for a couple of hours before a dinner out with the family. My aunt is in town, from Southern California, for a few days and we all met at a fancy restaurant to have dinner. I haven't seen my aunt in a few years and we chatted about what we had been up to and her new job and business ventures. She told me about my cousins and what they have been up to and planning on a time when I could come visit. It was very nice and everyone was there except Micah. He couldn't go because he had tickets to see Louis CK too. I ate too much and drank too much coffee. 

When we got home we watched a couple episodes of "Dexter". Then my brother and I watched half of an interview Dennis Prager by Dave Rubin. I will finish that up soon. I have work tomorrow and then dinner at mom's house with the family again. I need to have a conversation with my brother about my contribution to the business but that is for another day. 

This is a weak post

01/21/2017 at about 2 am

Today I went to work. I worked on register most of the day. I told a couple of people about my eyebrow mishap. I hope it doesn't get infected. It should be clean but it is deeper than I originally thought. As I don't have insurance at the moment I hope that it heals well on its own. I think it will.

I watched a new show today. It's called "The Fall" and it's about a serial killer and an inspector (Euro version of a detective) trying to catch him. Great cinematography and the acting is good. It's slow but suspenseful. The accents are fun too.

This is a weak post but I'm tired as fuck. I stay up to late sometimes but tomorrow is a day off.

Doesn't look like a big deal

01/20/2017 at 1 am

The weather has returned to normal and I went to work like normal. I helped customers like normal and took a break like normal. Then just as I was walking to the break room at the end of my shift to clock out I started walking with my head turned to talk to a co-worker, who was complaining incoherently, when I smashed the left side of my face against a steel pillar in the middle of the store. I looked around and no one had seen. Thank goodness. Then I felt my face and found blood on my hands. A slight amount of panic began to set in as well as the general pain emanating from my left eyebrow. I went to the break room, told the manager what happened and began treating the wound. It bled a bit but stopped fairly quickly with pressure. I looked around for small bandages but couldn't find any in any of the first aid kits.

I decided to just go home and when I got their I showed my brother. He helped get a couple of butterfly band aids on and took a few pictures of course. I applied ice to my face while we watched some Dexter and I ate dinner. Then I watched the most current episode of "Game of Thrones" and then started watching "Breaking Bad" again.

Here's a picture of my head:

Doesn't look like a big deal but it is swollen as fuck now. Smashing your head into a pillar is not recommended. 

I highly recommend it

01/19/2017 at 1 am

I participated in 2 video shoots today. One was about 2 and 1/2 hours long and the other was about 3 hours long. The first was at the home of an entrepreneur printing stickers independently. Good quality prints. They had a nippy dog but they bought us lunch so that was nice. A few hours later we had another gig at a barber shop. They had 20 or 30 people getting hair cuts and drinking and hanging out and talking. It was a really hip adult party late night at a barber shop. We took a lot of footage and will need to sort and edit it soon.

Then we came home and watched the Neil Brennan stand up special on Netflix. I started to watch it last night but after about 5 minutes my eyes dictated that I call it a night. It is an amazing special and he bares his soul on stage. He is smart, irreverent, brutally honest and brave. I think with more emotion it would have been more impactful but it is very entertaining.  I highly recommend it.  

I will decide soon

01/18/2017 at 12 am

Today was like other days. I awoke refreshed and alive, ready to take on the world. I ate some yogurt and found out that my morning energy laced juice beverage tasted funky so I threw that shit away. I conversed with the brother about business and what not and then got ready for work at the retail spot. It was very slow and I ran around helping people and working register and at one point the boss offered me a promotion. Better pay and more hours but the benefits might be the main reason to take it. I will decide soon.

I got picked up by my brother around 7 and when I got home I ate some home made chili and cornbread and we prepared to record a special edition of the Fractal Focus Podcast where we picked out top 7 reasons why businesses need video. It was a fun and educational episode full of stats plucked from websites to help inform businesses of the need for video that we could do for them.

Then we watched some "Dexter" and then I watched the last episode of "Comedy Bang Bang". Now I'm checking out the Netflix stand up special "3 Mics" by Neal Brennan but I don't think I will finish it. I might just go to bed at the end of this sentence.

Later I read for a long while

01/17/2017 at 2 am

Before passing out last night I lay in my bed scrambling to create spreadsheets and get the ideas about marketing out of my head. I created an advertising effectiveness table while pinching and zooming in the dark when my computer was right there but it was three in the morning and I had already committed to going to bed. I updated some financials and then finally fell asleep, exhausted.

I woke up this morning ready to get something done. My brother would be home soon and I wanted to have accomplished something productive before he did so I did my laundry. I also watched a few Youtube videos about how to utilize Facebook paid advertising to get clients and drafted up letter templates to send to Prospective Clients.

Then, in the middle of all my efforts, the family came home. I continued to work as they clambered around the house ridding it of the desolate silence it had endured. I did not make a fuss about everyone coming home but internally I was very happy they were back. I missed having them around and having friends to talk with. My nephew came in and gave me a big hug and the older ones were pleasant too. My brother and I caught up while getting coffees and we watched some footage of their vacation when we got back.

Later I read for a long while. It may have been the longest I have continuously read something in a very long time. I am really enjoying this book and reading has become something I look forward to.

Then I took a shower and my brother and I met a friend at a restaurant to talk about business. We talked for about and hour and half while eating burritos and fajitas and shit. It was a wonderful conversation about collaborating on business opportunities. The longer you talk with someone the easier it is to be honest.

Then we came home and worked on the website a bit and then watched a couple episodes of "Bloodline". It's an intriguing mystery but it is very slow and absurdly mellow dramatic. It has great acting and cinematography but it spoon feeds you information slowly like an IV drip of drama and confusion. No one tells jokes and everything sucks even though they are supposed to be a "great" family and have plenty of money, power and influence. I think the mom is the mastermind but that is only after two episodes.

Then my brother and I started talking about crime and started to look up crime statistics before he decided to go to bed. Now this and that and this and uh?

This is the only one I liked

01/16/2017 at 12 am

Today I cleaned the house up a bit. Took out the trash, vacuumed, swept and so on. While I was cleaning I listened to the podcast version of this:
Waking Up With Sam Harris #59 - Friend & Foe (with Maajid Nawaz)
I listened to a Joe Rogan podcast after that whilst playing some BF1. Then I read another chapter of the book I'm reading and took a very short nap. After that I took a shower and had dinner at my mom's house again. We had chili-dogs and I didn't make it very well. I think I was in a hurry but the chili was not hot enough so I felt kind of stupid about that. My niece and I played hide and seek, read books and ran back and forth around the house.

Then I came home, smoked a bowl, watched "Luther" while exercising, and took some pictures. This is the only one I liked:

Then I watched "Comedy Bang Bang for a while and now this. A generally uninteresting day. I don't work until Tuesday and Wednesday is all day shooting video. Tomorrow my brother and his family will come home. That is all. 

The wind blowing hard against the garage door

01/15/2017 at 1:30 am

Today was another cold day in the neighborhood. The wind blowing hard against the garage door filling my dreams with sawing, cracking and pounding. Visions of murderers and monsters kept me up all morning so I didn't get much sleep. When I did awake I realized I had nothing much to do and with my car surrounded by thick snow it wouldn't have mattered if I had something to do anyways. I took my sweet time lounging in my pajamas watching digital entertainment media including but not limited to "Luther" and Youtube.

Then I took a shower and bundled up for a short trek through the frigid wasteland to Winco to buy perishables. I made it there safe, shopped and braved the trek back with the hostile wind in my face. Then I read a chapter of a book and took a short and powerful nap. After I awoke from my rejuvenating nap my mom picked me up and I spent the evening at her house. I watched my two year old niece for about half an hour while my mother and sister went to get groceries. I read her a couple quick books, she brushed her hair with entirely too much water and entirely not much brushing, watched some "Goldie and the Bear" (I think), and played with building blocks.

Then we had a dinner of tuna sandwiches and soup and then my sister and I took a walk around the block in the freezing weather to talk about life, parenting and living with my mom. I played some more with the toddler and enjoyed my time hanging out. Then I returned to an empty home and played some BF1 while chatting with my friend Channing for a while. We caught up on all the latest gossip and goings on. Then some "Comedy Bang Bang" and now this.

Stereotyping Millenials

Who came up with the term millennials?

Is this a useful category?

Do you buy this take on millennials from Simon Sinek? 

I believe the term was originally used for marketing and political purposes but soon everyone was attempting to stereotype the group on every conceivable characteristic. Polls were taken and while the label was used to understand the demographic on a economic basis people started to make wild generalizations about the personalities and dysfunctions of the group in order to identify any "problems" that might arise as these people join the work force, become voters and start to spend money. Understanding the youth seems to be important to those attempting to predict and potentially manipulate the next big wave of adults but are such generalizations accurate? 

There is no "problem" with millennials. There are problems in society and most importantly in individuals but stereotyping based on an age group so wide spread does not seem to be useful. It is a complicated task to identify real problems and even more complicated to try to solve those problems but when you can just make wild allegations about an entire group of people based on anecdotes, like that of millennials feeling 'entitled", you can simplify it all down to a few talking points and give people the illusion of enlightenment. All new generations deal with new challenges and alter culture in new ways and it seems like there will always be fear of the unknown future this new generation will bring. 

Here is a fun video from Gary Vaynerchuck about the new generation.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Millennials

I missed a post yesterday

01/14/2017 at am

I missed a post yesterday so I'll break that down real quick:
Had a call about a job for someone wanting a pitch video. Agreed to to do the video only for a half day and they will edit. Went to work at retail job. Only exciting thing there was helping a deaf lady with a loose dog and finding her friend. They were thankful to have someone to communicate with as I know a small amount of ASL. Then came home and watched some Dexter until about 10 pm. Then went to bed around 10:30 pm which was super early but I was tired as fuck.

Today I woke up around 10 am and hung out most of the morning with the family in the living room watching "Malcolm in the Middle". Then the family left for a vacation at the beach and I got ready for work. My mom gave me a ride as my car would not fair well in the snow especially considering that there is still 8 inches surrounding the thing on all sides and my tires are bald. My mom has a four wheel drive rig and instead of borrowing it she just drove me there and back.

At work I learned a bit more about putting away shipment. They are generally teaching me everything. It is easy work and I got paid today which is sweet. Then had Papa Murphey's pizza at my mom and sister's house and played with my niece. That was pleasant. Then came home to an empty home and did what any male all alone for the first time in a long time would do. Then a few hours of BF1 and now this and next more mild mannered debauchery.

Here's a picture of that bird

01/12/2017 at 2 am

I am tired. I did not work at my retail job today because the weather made it so the person I would be training with wouldn't be there. So, instead I went with my brother to get studded tires for his Subaru. While we waited for the tires his friend, Chris, picked us up and we hung out at his house and chatted about the media and stupid people and such things. He showed us his new Glock Model 43. That was cool. After the tires were changed we went home and I took a walk to a local park and took pictures. I was able to get very close to a little bird. Here's a picture of that bird.

Then, after dark, my brother, his daughter and I went to the same park and took pictures of us with some cool lights and an amazing camera. We needed photos for the website and social media to represent ourselves to the world. We took some great shots. We are going through them to find the best ones. 

Then we got amazing BBQ pizza and watched a show while we ate. Then three hours of Dexter. About 2 hours of BF1 followed by editing photos. Now this. Here are two more photos I took today. I post pictures on Instagram as well. 

Portland is now North Dakota

01/11/2017 at 1 am

I took this photo about an hour ago and it is still snowing outside. Portland is now North Dakota. I am not sure if that means work is off tomorrow but I will find out. Either way, probably not a lot of people running around shopping tomorrow. 

When I woke up this morning I had a few ideas for getting work. I got up energized and started right away finding people to contact about potential video work. Then, while online, I found a couple more opportunities and my brother found a couple on craigslist. I submitted the website for critique by a Youtuber, found three businesses to contact, and found out about someone who put a call out for video shooters and editors. My brother e-mailed to prospective clients. 

At around 3pm I laid down and read for about an hour of "The Graveyard Book". I am surprised at my continued enthusiasm for reading. After reading my friend's book "Hell Came With Her" I have been enjoying the peace and entertainment of reading. I think the key is finding something you're actually interested in which means you have to try a few and find good books I suppose. 

Then my brother came home and we collaborated more on business opportunities and submitted a few e-mails and such. Then dinner. An amazing sausage, bean and vegetable soup and cookies. Then, social media, three episodes of Dexter, more TV and now this. Next to watch the following video:

Buzzfeed Publishes Shocking Fake News About Donald Trump

No personal stuff

01/10/2017 at 2 am

I just finished playing a shit ton of BF1 with a friend I met playing last night. Nice guy and we have only chatted about the game. No personal stuff. I kind of like that. It makes me want to play more and work as a team when I can chat with people in the game.

Earlier today, after waking up of course, I talked to a friend from Eugene about creating a documentary about pool. He was pretty excited about it and was brainstorming the idea with me for a while. If he can get some funding I would love to work on a video related to pool but I am not sure how much interest there is in billiards. It has been around for a long time and it is very difficult to market.

I watched quite a bit of Comedy Bang Bang and enjoyed watching some of it with my nephew. It was a fairly lazy day. I did work on a gear priority list for Fractal Focus with my brother, so that was productive and he finished editing the mini-doc until we get more info.

I watched a quick video of Gary Vaynerchuck explaining to a lady that whether we like it or not the future is coming and people will do what they will do. She said something like, "What are we doing to our kids?" Talking about taking selfies all the time and he cut her off and said explained that "we" aren't doing anything and that that people are afraid of change. He mentioned how people were worried about Elvis and his gyrating hips. I appreciate his acceptance of new media and changing expectations instead of just bitching about millennials. He has a wonderful ability to say a lot in a short amount of time.

Around 5:30 pm I went out to eat at a seafood restaurant with my mom and sister and her baby. That was nice. Good to get out since I've been cooped up, using the weather as an excuse but I really didn't have a lot to do. I did exercise a good amount which felt good. I need to go to bed. Goodnight.

Then came BF1 and now this

01/09/2017 at 12 am

I woke up this morning in the mood to film the weather some more. I had filmed some of the snow and wind yesterday and wanted to see if there was anything to film today. So, I ate my yogurt and had my energy juice drink. I film a little of the outside world and the wind made the trees and bushes dance. I enjoy filming nature.

After I filmed for a bit my brother contacted the people we are editing a video for and asked clarified some issues. Then we found out that there are audio files for all the interviews and I mother went through and synced them all up. Also, one of the interviews had such low audio volume that trying to sync it up was very tedious. You have to match the scratch audio with the externally recorded audio and when the scratch audio is poor it becomes mostly trial and error. My brother finished that and will work on adding her interview pieces if there are good parts. It changes up the project and adds a few hours of work. But, that is how it goes.

While he worked on editing the "real" project I worked on editing my nature video and watched a Youtube interview of Eric Weinstein by Dave Rubin. Eric is an economist and mathematician but he is also very well spoken, thoughtful, and down to earth. He is very intelligent and can explain things so they are understandable to a wide range of people. Here is the video:
Eric Weinstein and Dave Rubin on Fake News, Trump, and the Mathematical Mind (Full Interview)

Then my brother and I recorded an episode of our podcast. I edited it right away.

Later, I finished my editing of my nature video and put it on Youtube. Then, when I showed my brother he gave me two criticisms: No "The Next Day" title, and one of the clips felt short. So I went in and edited it again and reposted it with the changes which I thought made the video better. Then the family played Apple to Apples and Who's the Most Likely. We had fun making voices and jokes.

Then, before Dexter, I published the podcast: 13 (Business Meeting, LLC Finalized and Editing)

Then came BF1 and now this. The present.

It was a very chill day

01/08/2017 at 12:33 am

Rum ham.

I started the day frantic to call the bank to make sure that my credit card replacement was on the way. They are supposed to call me back. We will see. Then my brother received a hard drive with audio and video files for a small editing job. The people taking the footage and recording the audio are new to this type of project but we were able to put together a decent 5 minute mini-doc. Just need to finish up with titles, transitions, audio and other final touches.

It snowed a bit today and I was able to take some footage of crazy wind and snow. I also took some photos, of which a few turned out decent.
Here is one of them: Check out more on Instagram:

My brother and I worked on some business documents and then watched 3 episodes Dexter. Now I'm watching It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia. It was a very chill day.

Officially filed the paperwork for Fractal Focus LLC!

01/07/2017 at 2 am
Yesterday we officially filed the paperwork for Fractal Focus LLC! It should take around a month for it to be finalized. I am very excited to make it official and start working on growing the business as a separate entity.

At work I met a terrible manager who rushes, had bad customer service, doesn't listen very well, and treats people like they are stupid if they don't do things their way. Not a big deal but hopefully I can avoid them as much as possible going forward.

After work I came home and ate some tacos and we watched a few episode of Dexter. Then my brother and I stayed up talking about racism in the legal system and how one might go about recognizing it. We looked at some studies and it seems to be a complicated topic with a lot of variables. The justice system needs to be scrutinized on all fronts. Also poverty, culture, value systems, history and other factors have effects on individual outcomes and need to be looked at when discussing statistical trends and potential solutions to undesirable social outcomes.

Then we chatted about the business and made some plans. I am very tired so I will not go into detail here but we talked about social media, communicating with clients, creating goals and so on.

I hope this is a one off event

01/06/2017 at 1:30 am

Firstly, my brother came home for lunch as I was waking up and we both discussed our outrage about the news about the racist teens that tortured another teen and streamed it live on Facebook. One of the worst things I've seen in a long time. Having access to such sadism through a live feed is chilling. Such a vile act and the idiots post it online with their identities. They are proud of it which makes it all the more disgusting. I hope they go to jail for a long time.

Many people go straight to blaming Black Lives Matter but I hesitate to make this conclusion. I think it is important to find out what these people were influenced by and if there is a group promoting violence it should be exposed. If more of these racist attacks occur it will set back race relations a long way. Any decent person, especially Black Lives Matter followers, should decry this type of violence and the leaders of BLM should come forward and make their principles known. If they support violence openly I would be surprised but if they support violence covertly it should be exposed. I hope this is a one off event but we all hope every mass shooting is a one off event too and that turns out not to be the case.

Then we finalized our website and I think it looks great. I am excited about it and our prospects.

Then I went to work. At work I learned how to use their register system. I rang up people alone within about an hour and then covered a shift to close working on register. It is not hard to get back into, just learning exactly how they do things and what I can and can't do without permission will take some time. Generally a chill place. They seem to worry a lot about shoplifters but there isn't much anyone can do. They expect their employees to call out over the radio if they think someone looks like a dirt bag. Interesting. I enjoyed how the employee training me told me how and when to maneuver around expectations. Thanks for the honesty.

Then I arrived home. Did a small exercise routine. Ate a piece of cake. It was amazing. Then an episode of Luther and then some Battlefield 1. Now I am watching Luther and writing about my day. Multitasking like a motherfucker. I omitted smoking weed and masturbating. They also happened.

That reminds me of this Ted Talk about the Adverse Childhood Study

01/05/2017 at 2 am

This morning I started off by watching a few videos on Youtube. Then I did some dishes and played some Battlefield 1 while listening to a presentation on spanking by Stefan Molyneux. Supposedly France made hitting children illegal which is a great thing. I think spanking is hitting and people shouldn't hit defenseless children. Children do not choose their parents and look to them to model love and provide security and connection. They have no ability to leave the environment when it is legal to hit them. Child abuse and neglect have been shown to lower IQ, lead to higher rates of obesity, promiscuity, risk seeking behavior and other negative outcomes. Check out this presentation as well. The Facts about Spanking by Stefan Molyneux.

That reminds me of this Ted Talk about the Adverse Childhood Study
How childhood trauma affects health across a lifetime | Nadine Burke Harris

Other than that I helped my sister with her groceries and chatted about her experiences living in Portland for the last 6 months. We talked about her relationship with our mom and dad and got keys made so I would have access to the things I have stored at her house. Then we picked up her daughter and I hung out with them for a little while are their house. We played blocks and watched Zou. Then my brother came by and he took me back to his house.

We worked on out website more and looking into buying a shoulder rig for the 80D. By Friday we plan on finalizing the website, the LLC paperwork and whether or not to buy the shoulder rig. After that we watch the season 3 finale of Dexter. Then I played Battlefield 1 for about 2 hours. Now I am writing this and needing to go to bed.

I will leave with this bit of horrible news:
‘F**k Donald Trump, F**k White People!’: 4 People In Custody After Man Kidnapped, Tortured On Facebook Live

Then I dueled my nephew in a game of Yu-Gi-Oh

01/04/2017 at 1:40 am

Today I woke up around 11:30 and ate a vanilla yogurt and drank a V8 Fusion energy drink. Then I had chili and watched another Ben Shapiro panel debate where the topic this time was racism. It was an interesting debate but I am not sure if any real solutions came out of it. I was not convinced the panelists on the democratic side were well informed and they were not very consistent with their positions and arguments. My brother and I discussed the topic at length through the day during and after watching the video. It seems like some people chalk up a lot to racism but don't have much evidence or solutions other than telling white people to "stop it".

Then I took a walk with the nephew to a local park but it was around 34 degrees so we didn't walk long. Then I dueled my nephew in a game of Yu-Gi-Oh. He won but it was actually kind of fun. Then I read a chapter of "The Graveyard Book" and took a half an hour nap.

Soon, my brother was home from work and dinner was being made. It was fish, tots, salad, beans, and hard boiled eggs. An amazing home cooked meal. I am spoiled here. Then my brother and I worked a bit on the Fractal Focus website creating pages for videos, photos, client work and the like. Then an episode of Dexter with my brother and his wife and after that I exercised, took a shower and then played Battlefield 1 for a bit.

I was watching Comedy Bang Bang when I realized I hadn't written in my daily blog diary thing so here I am. Next, more Comedy Bang Bang and then sleep.

Today I had my first business meeting.

01/03/2017 at 12:30 am

Today I had my first business meeting. My brother and I met with the owners of an up and coming barber shop to discuss doing a few videos for them. We gave them a "friend" price and the job is not too big so I think it will be a good experience for me and a good start to growing a reputation for the company. I hope it leads to more work.

The first thing I did today was watch another Ben Shapiro video where he and others had a debate about the $15 minimum wage proposal that ultimately went through in Seattle, Washington. Oregon is on track to match this minimum wage by 2022. Afterward my brother and I recorded a podcast for Fleeting Thoughts and we talked for about a hour and a half about minimum wage, politics, government, and such things. Very good conversation.

Then I had some nasty ass, tasty ass Taco Bell. After that I took a shower, played a level of Lego Marvel Avengers with the nephew, who will not play the game without me because it is "our" game. Then a bit of reading, this time I am reading "The Graveyard Book" by Neil Gaiman. It was recommended by Tim Ferris whose podcast I rarely listen to anymore. Then a 15 min nap and then off to the business meeting.

After I returned from the meeting did some pull ups and crunches and then ate some amazing homemade chicken chili and started watching Luther on Netflix which is an amazing show. The acting is incredible. Then I decided I needed to get my diary entry in the bank so here it is. Next, maybe some Battlefield 1?

It Was a Great Way to Start the Year

01/02/2017 at 1am

The first thing I did yesterday was watch an interview of Ben Shapiro by Dave Rubin on Youtube. It was a very good conversation about Trump, the "Left", the "alt right", and other such topics. I am very impressed with both Rubin and Shapiro for their eloquence and thoughtfulness. Shapiro's ability to intelligently argue a position is inspiring and I realized that I think he, a few others, have politics covered pretty well. I doubt I could fight that fight as well and I doubt it would be fulfilling but I do enjoy debates and criticizing politics.  I tweeted that shit out. 

Here is the link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=93Ro_vfZcfk

Then the family went on a long walk in the park. After a bit my brother and I started talking about the business, Fractal Focus. We talked about barriers, timelines, expectations and finances. When we returned to the house we prepared for an early dinner. It was home made Yum bowls. If you don't know what those are I suggest you check it out. 

After dinner I read for a few minutes and then my brother came to me with our new website. We collaborated on the fractalfocus.com website and got a very nice landing page set up. Then we ordered business cards and looked at the cost to set up an official LLC. It's not too expensive but we are taking a couple days to get money in order. A few bills show up right at the beginning of the year but tax returns will arrive so I shouldn't worry so much. Then we edited some release forms and checked some items off the list. 

I had promised the nephew I would play Lego Marvel Avengers with him so we completed two levels heroically. Then an episode of Dexter with my brother and his wife. A screening of Mr. Brooks with Kevin Costner rounds out the evening of serial killer entertainment. Now I am thinking about going to bed and what I might do tomorrow. 

It was a great way to start the year.